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Today's Top 10: Top TV Pitchmen

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Freelance Hack, Jan 26, 2009.

  1. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    Today's Top 10 totally admits without shame that it got this idea after reading C. Trent Rosecrans Facebook status update from earlier this morning. While TT10 disagrees with the assertion that Billy Mays would "wipe the floor" with Vince the ShamWow guy, TT10 acknowledges CTR's idea, steals it and makes it its own.

    So, here is Today's Top 10 Greatest TV Pitchmen of all-time. For purposes of this discussion, I'm excluding characters like John Moschitta's fast-talking FedEx character, the Dunkin Donuts guy, Mr. Whipple, etc.

    Operators are now standing by.

    1. Ron Popeil (the alpha and omega of TV pitchmen)
    2. Mike Levey (the sweater guy from Amazing Discoveries, now pitching useless crap in heaven)
    3. Vince the ShamWow Guy (if Big Ben can already be destined for Canton then this rookie pitchman can earn elite status)
    4. Ed McMahon (Colonial Penn, Budweiser and of course the American Family Publishing sweepstakes)
    5. Matthew Lesko (finally discovered a use for Frank Gorshin's old wardrobe)
    6. Klee the creepy colon cleansing guy (Looks like a cross between John Waters and Ming the Merciless; scares the bejezus out of me, especially when I wake up to his ads at 3:30 a.m.)
    7. George Foreman (Earned it for the grill alone, Meineke Car Care is just icing on the cake)
    8. Wilford Brimley ('cause it's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it)
    9. Victor Kiam (former Remington owner who liked the razor so much he bought the company)
    10. June Allyson (made it hip for old people to wear diapers)

    Honorable Mention: O.J. Simpson, Ricardo Montalban, Karl Malden, Peyton Manning and Michael Jordan
  2. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    I had no idea that guy had died. Crazy.
  3. doctorx

    doctorx Member

    No love for Billy Mays?
  4. terrier

    terrier Well-Known Member

    I'm the king of inappropriate uses of the phrases "But wait! There's more!" and "But that's not all!"
    Victor Kiam: "I loved the Patriots so much I almost destroyed the franchise!" Hey, at least Lisa Olson got to enjoy some schadenfraude.
  5. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Billy Mays not in the top 2 invalidates the list, in my opinion.

    And easily my favorite is.... "Hi, it's Vince with Shamwow."

    Slick-talking, bug-eyed, spiked hair... Condescending tone, pompous demeanor, the unnecessary headset and the rushed delivery that implies he has something better to be doing than wastng his time talking to you, the idiot who doesn't already own five of the things!

    Best lines:

    "Are you following me camera guy?"
    "Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff!"
    "You're gonna spend $20 a month on paper towels, you're already throwing your money away."
  6. Peyton Manning?
  7. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Rock me diabeetus!

  8. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Just BEETUS!

  9. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    I hate Wilford Brimley. I wish the diabetes would just win already.
  10. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    You are just mad because he brought sexy back.

  11. MartinEnigmatica

    MartinEnigmatica Active Member



    This guy's got to be in the mix.
  12. 93Devil

    93Devil Well-Known Member


    I actually have insurance for my family against the robot from Lost in Space.

    Sam can sell.
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