Today will suck like no other day has sucked before.

Duh. What was I thinking? That seems so logical.

 

Been spending a little time in S&M clubs, Fenian?

 

www.rickrolling.com

 

I know it's a different kind of sucks...but still:

I am a morning disc jockey. Yes, the kind many of you do not like and yes, I make fart jokes because, well, farts are funny. Today, we had two different live broadcasts. The second was at a huge, multi dealer car sale and included the "Bumblefuck City Country Idol Competition". We are a country station, but when we offered to help with the show, they told us they expected about 20 singers and they would be fine.

They got 100. No shade, 88 degrees and people, many of them toothless and stupid* blaming us for having to stand out there, including one guy who asked my partner and I if we wanted to fight. 2 hours later, our broadcast is over, but there are still many people left to sing. Our client says if we cared about them we would continue to broadcast...for free...because, while they had no budget left to pay us, they might advertise again "someday". We politely declined and left to the strains of "we are calling your boss and you'll get fired for not staying".

Nothing will come of it, but an annoying day, it indeed was.


*I love my listeners, but many of them are indeed, toothless and stupid.

 

Weather: 75 degrees (first warm Saturday of year, so off to a good start)

Direction of bleachers: Situated so sun rays directly point toward right side of body for entire softball doubleheader (conspicuous absence of sunscreen in vehicle...despite alternating position of Ray-Bans from top of head to over eyes, still have sunglass tan)

Vehicle injury: Potential broken camshaft (suffered on way to said doubleheader roughly 3/8 mile from site)
Length: Career-ending (I paid $900 for the car...guess that's what I get)

 

There's nothing like nice weather in the Palisades, is there?

 

Sunday will likely suck here. U9 girls club soccer team has a 1 p.m. game - high temperature in the upper 40s, windy and rain likely. Against a club team that beat Daughter PD's team 3-1 last weekend.

Ugh.

 

A little perspective here. If you have to be there for someone else's kids (umpire, or covering the even), it sucks. If you're there as a parent for your own kids, well, there are lots of things worse than that.

 

What if you're not completely sure they're not your kids? Are there a bunch of things worse than sitting through a tournament or is it closer to a 50-50 split?

 

A brief synopsis of the day in question;

Everything was going swimmingly until the last two games of the tournament.

Last inning; Team A down 24-21, 1 out; Runner on 1st; Guy hits a two-hopper to second; A taylor-made double play; Second baseman makes the flip to short, and on the return throw, promptly drills the guy from first to second RIGHT IN THE HEAD. Guy running from first to second never got down or got out of the baseline.

Two things happened in that sequence that I have no ideas about; First, how the kid put his head down fast enough not to get drilled in the face, and second of all, how the kid didn't get split w i d e open. I mean, it caught him flush. From behind home plate, you could hear this sickening thud. Dude never lost consciousness, though he was a bit wobbly.

FINAL GAME; I am umpiring in the field; (Championship game, so we used 2 umps) 2nd inning; For this league, I was probably a bit close in on the dirt; Guy (6'5, 260) hits one that has my head in its sites. I know it comes close to me because everything suddenly turned slow motion. I managed to get down before taking a shot to the melon, but it was close.

The weather was brutal; Cold as shit (Predicted high temp of 50, and I will sautee one of my toes if it saw 40) wind gusts to 45+,out of the North; (Good thing about the wind, if there is such a thing, was the fields faced the south, and we saw some absolute tape measure shots that would have been out of every park in nation, including Yellowstone.

 

I'd rather that than 90 degrees with matching percentage of humidity.

 

That is a skull rattling negative.

The scenery in the stands is MUCH better when the temperature is 90.