Three friends. Three DUIs. In one night.

Nothing as good as this, but when I was in TV our cute (chunky, kinda funky) main female anchor got popped after leaving my house after a Halloween party. She was en route to our weekend anchor's place to "profess her love to him" (ie. try to get laid). Instead, she had to call him to get her out of the clink.
Fast forward a year to the next main female anchor -- who was hot -- that came through the line. She gets popped while heading to the same weekend anchor's place to "just see what he's up to" even though a phone call would have sufficed....at 2 in the morning!
Those were just two of the many coworkers willing to "dip the pen in the company ink." This guy had poon throwing themselves at him and he turned most of it down. We were sure he was gay....turned out, he was just a virgin that didn't realize he had game.
Happy ending to the story: He married his first and they have a lovely child now. She's hot (the mom, not the kid...you sickos).

 

I recall it as Ryan taking the three nymphomaniac drunk chicks home.

 

I'll allow it.

 

So then I assume uproxx is your personal blog?

 

One of the drunk chicks was the racist tweeter who got fired while flying to Africa.

Sonner banged her.

 

Not <i>one</i> of those drunken princesses thought to blow the cop and scoot away with a warning?

 

Wow. That's a crowd that will empty your TP roll in a hurry.

 

One ton of fun right there, at least.

 

The guy may have grounds for getting off on the second one because the jailers let him go. Thank God he didn't kill anyone.

 

Then, instead of taking the young thin nympho chicks back to their homes, Sonner took them back to his house.

The resulting foursome required the amazon.com butt plug three-pack. /crossthread

 

The song playing as Friend 1 gets pulled over:

 

The more you weigh, the more it takes to get you drunk. How many liquor stores does it take to get them drunk?