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This will cure all of the Catholic Church's ills.

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by hockeybeat, Jun 15, 2006.

  1. BitterYoungMatador2

    BitterYoungMatador2 Well-Known Member

    There are allegedly priests in Pittsburgh that have mastered the Sunday morning 20 minute mass.
     
  2. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Oh no. I don't get this lucky. I have a priest who started as a Baptist minister and teaches at the local Catholic high school.
    While he is funny at times, he preaches like he's teaching class -- repetitive, love to hear himself speak and kind of condescending (third time tonight I've used that word). Even when he's less verbose, it still takes forever. The other day we had two baptisms, a confirmation of one of the mothers who had a damnnear close to being a bastard kid, then 25 minutes of announcements where damn near everyone in the parish were thanked by someone for various reasons. At one point, I turned to Ms. Slappy and her mother and said I couldnt deal with this and walked out. 90 minutes and still going strong.
    he did a seven minute sermon once and spent the next two weeks bragging about it. Never apologizes for the 22-28 minute ones tho...

    Makes up for the beauties I used to go to at St. Brendan's on the east side of Detroit: In at 9 a.m., on the bike headed back home at 9:35
     
  3. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    I can't answer that.
    I haven't been a practicing Catholic for 20 years.
     
  4. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    People went through much more drastic changes when the Novus Ordo Mass was adopted 30 years. They managed.
     
  5. hockeybeat

    hockeybeat Guest

    We used to have a priest who only gave noon mass on Football Sundays. Why? To make sure people would show up. Guy was a brutal: "Now...if...we...have...learned...anything...from...Paul..."

    Eventually one of the less-esteemed members of the clergy (mobbed up, I do believe) explained to the Good Father that the long masses weren't good for his business. And if the masses weren't good for his business, the collection plate and yearly carnival might be lacking.

    After that, mass was done by 12:30, tops.
     
  6. hockeybeat

    hockeybeat Guest

    It was a rhetorical question, Buck. I wasn't expecting an answer from you. I do expect answers from the Church leadership, though. There's no reason Father Youngalterboy'sasstitilatesme to preach from the pulpit.
     
  7. pittsburgie

    pittsburgie Member

    This is going to mess up the twice-a-year folks.
     
  8. CentralIllinoisan

    CentralIllinoisan Active Member

    Reason 3,457 to distrust and/or ignore organized religion.
     
  9. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    I am dead serious when I say I have a major problem with this.

    I think the most profound part of the Mass is saying, "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed" before you receive communion. I can promise you I will never say, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof."

    And the Catholic Church needs a copy editor, these new sayings are wordy as hell. The Act Of Penitence goes from "through my own fault" to "through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault?" Not only is it wordy, it's laying it on a bit thick, don't you think?

    All I know is that since I have been to confession since, hmm, middle school, these new phrases are going to make a lengthy task that much longer.
     
  10. KP

    KP Active Member

    They just tried mouthing the words. Nothing ever came out.
     
  11. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Some would tell you that being a priest seemed like perfect cover and attracted pedophiles, who often are very good at doing the priestly thing and are often among the more popular priests. They better adults trust you, the more freedom you have with the kids, They move up in the hierarchy and provide cover for the up-and-coming pedophiles.
     
  12. Captain_Kirk

    Captain_Kirk Well-Known Member

    Putting a band-aid on a broken leg.

    Attendance is declining? That's a shocker. Considering the event is the same, mundane, repeated ceremony week after week after week after....  Sit, stand, kneel, sit, stand, kneel. Kind of like going to the movies every Friday night and seeing the same flick--after a while there's not much of a motivation to go, right?

    Hey, maybe a repeated, ritualistic ceremony worked just fine in the 16th century, but, uh, boys, in case you haven't noticed, things in the world have changed a little since then. Maybe you brilliant minds should consider some radical changes that would make people want to come to Mass.

    Here's what the church needs to do.  Instead of guilting people to trudge into their pews on a weekly basis, switch things up. Use a little entertainment flair. Spark it up a little. Instead of the same ceremony that people can literally participate in while half asleep, vary it from week to week. Bring in guest speakers, show a short film, have a group play act that week's gospel. Maybe it's only 1 reading (gasp) instead of 2. And for chrissakes (literally), vary the prayers a bit. Instead of the same ritualistic words that the congregation speaks with all the energy and vitality of Charlie Brown's teacher, write/teach new ones where the attendees might actually have to read the words and absorb their meaning.

    Otherwise, you'll see me on an infrequent basis--I already know how the movie ends.
     
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