This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

To summarize:

Lady from Nebraska is 5'7 and 120 pounds.

363 Wings

30 minutes.

Get the fuck out.

And for sheer humor........check out the reaction of the blond next to her.....

http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/10381977/molly-schuyler-eats-363-wings-30-minutes-shatter-wing-bowl-record

 

Ye gods.

I think she doubles her body weight every time she does one of these competitions:

 

That is going to burn. She could read an SI Longform piece in the time she'll need.

 

That Japanese guy that wins all the hot dog contests is also a tiny little 120 pound dude.

Weird how these contests usually seem to be won by small people. Seems so counterintuitive to me. Where do they find the stomach space to cram all that gunk? Is there some trick to it?

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/08/31/magazine/31EATING.html?smid=pl-share

 

6

 

I dunno. Think you got to at least take a 1 or 2 point deduction just for how much you're going to have to shell out on a date taking her out to dinner....

 

But what if she eats sperm?

 

I can't imagine how long of a shit a person would have to take after eating like that.

 

Place in Long Beach called the Green Burrito. Their big thing was the "Big Ed" -- a 3-pound burrito -- and their big contest was "Eat 3 Big Eds in 30 minutes and win $500, come back the next week and do it, win $1,000" ...

One of the few people to do it both weeks, they said, was a woman who weighed maybe 100 pounds.

 

If she eats sperm like she eats wings, she'll probably turn you inside out.