This or the?

I preach this at my place, but it falls on deaf ears. Even the senior copy editors don't get it.

 

If you're saying "The 17-year-old Doe", then you're implying that there is another Doe who's not 17. You're also implying that his age is the most important identifying detail. Wrapping it in commas -- Doe, 17, -- makes the age parenthetical, which it is.

And "this" in that context is even worse. It's a TV word.

 

It's so unusual that it may be the writer's attempt to establish his or her voice. It's not wrong, but it's a little jarring. I'd ask the reporter why he does it, and try to have the conversation that it's possible to write with an authoritive voice without jarring readers out of the piece with a hokey technique.

 

Thanks again for the suggestions. I've got to do an annual review with the writer in question soon and this will be on the list of things he can improve.

 

"This 23-year-old reporter could really improve his writing by ..."

 

We can make this simple, for closure's sake: Yes!

If you're going to use that construction, "this" is wrong.

 

You might be surprised to know, Ace -- I certainly was, and learned it just a few weeks ago -- that "Doe, 17" is expressly forbidden by AP style. I wonder how many people know that.

This directly from the AP stylebook:

I always wondered why AP always wrote, "The 42-year-old Wintu Indian" (bonus points for those who know who that is) and that's why.

I've been doing this for a while and never knew that until September.

 

It has become increasingly clear to me that AP has no idea what the hell it's talking about.

What on earth is wrong with that construction?

 

Well, I always wondered why AP insists on doing "The 38-year-old Jeter," time after time after time, and now you know.

 

You're right. I did not know this. But screw AP and all their extra words, the recent "have" and "has" additions.
Lots of times I get stories into slot that when I get done eliminating the extra, unnecessary words, the story is two or three lines short.

 

SoCal, it's not just that they use extra words -- it's that they MANDATE the use of extra words.

Nobody got the bonus for my Wintu Indian question.