this is what i had for dinner:

(in order)

pint of terrapin rye pale ale
pint of terrapin rye pale ale
bottle of lone star beer
botter of miller high life
an elvis burger (peanut butter, bacon, fried bananas on a 1/2 pound burger), tater tots, pickle
bottle of miller high life

now. within 5 minutes, i want you all to guess how long i'll be spending on the john in a few hours. winner gets a beer on me.

(for the ATLiens among us, i ate at the vortex in midtown.)

 

My stomach churned just reading that.

May God bless you and have mercy on your soul. And your innards.

 

Poop!

 

Peanut butter, bacon and bananas on a burger?

That's just wrong.

 

Some of the Terrapin beer I've had, can't remember which versions, is disgusting.

 

my wife dared me (for the burger). i have to own up to the beer, i'm afraid.

oh man. i don't feel so hot.

 

Guessing that "cranium maximus" is an example of irony.

 

You think that's bad now, wait until it wants to come out.

 

Why do you hate your colon?

 

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!!
You need TP for your bunghole?
Edit: This is a tremendous wav file: http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/sounds/almighty.wav

 

Cornholio wav site: http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/cornholio/cornholiosounds.htm

This is fuckin' priceless: http://www.thegreatcornholio.com/sounds/ucantake.wav

 

50 bucks says you live below the Mason Dixon Line.