Thirty Years Ago Today, We Lost One Of The Epic Entertainment Giants . . .

I used some of the lesser-known good lines. I'll sit back a while and let some of the most famous old chestnuts get rolled out . . .

 

I was gonna get a flat bottom but the girl at the boat house didn't have one.

 

Swordfish.

 

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here.

 

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

 

Groucho: I wanna register a complaint.

Captain: Why, what's the matter?

Groucho: Matter enough. D'you know who sneaked into my stateroom at three o'clock this morning?

Captain: Who did that?

Groucho: Nobody. And that's my complaint. (pause) I'm young. I want gaiety, laughter, ha-cha-cha. I wanna dance! (sings) I wanna dance 'til the cows come home!

Captain: Just what do you mean by this?!

Groucho: (ignoring the Captain) Another thing...I don't care for the way you're running this boat. Why don't you get in the back seat for a while and let your wife drive?

Captain: I want you to know that I've been Captain of this ship for twenty-two years.

Groucho: Twenty-two years, eh? If you were a man, you'd go in business for yourself. I know a fellow started only last year with just a canoe...now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at...if that's your idea of a good time.

Captain: One more word out of you, and I'll throw you in irons!

Groucho: You can't do it with irons; it's a mashie shot. It's a mashie shot if the wind is against you, and if the wind isn't I am. And how about those barrels down below?

Captain: Barrels?

Groucho: Yeah, I wouldn't put a pig in one of those barrels.

 

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

 

Ciccolini may look like an idiot and he may sound like an idiot but don't be mistaken, he is an idiot.

 

I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.

 

The struggle of class versus class is a political struggle.
Oops, sorry. Wrong Marx.

 

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.

 

If I were you I'd go out into the lobbby until this blows over.