The Whole Kindergarten Redshirt Thing

I'm a product of public schools, all the way up to through college, and I believe deeply in and have a lot of respect for the importance of the public education system. I think it gets too much flack. If you pay even a little bit of attention and have semi-with-it parents, I think in most cases you'll do just fine.

So this is where I'm coming from when I say that private schools have some real advantages (or absence of disadvantage in most areas) that could really help with a middle-school age kid. You tend to have smaller classes. You can (again, this is not across the board) see more focus on parental involvement simply because forcing somebody to sign a check makes them pay attention to things in a different way. You tend to have a self-selected sample of kids, rather than the mass of everyone public schools have to take, so I suspect there are fewer discipline and behavioral problems the teachers have to devote their time to dealing with. Private schools can also, fundamentally, run themselves however they damn well want and aren't subject to a lot of dumb mandates that public and charter schools have to tow to continue to receive state money.

It's not that public schools are bad. I would never say that and, again, am a huge defender of the public school system. It was great to me. What public schools are is beholden to having to take every student in their community, deal with every problem every student brings in, and abide by every quick fix-it Federal or state whim that's supposed to "save our children."

Middle school kids are basically little monsters who should probably be isolated from society on an island somewhere until they're ready to begin their freshman year of high school. Failing that, they need more special attention and private schools are generally better at giving that to students. So I can see the argument for it particularly in that age group.

 

Less excluding of kids and less teasing? Oh, please.

I can understand the private school advantages but all these examples you give would relate equally to all grades.

 

yes it relates to all grades, but middle school is so difficult, emotionally and socially, that private middle school does the best job and reducing the risks

 

I don't know about that. We had some serious bad-assed in my middle school. Really.

They did more to keep everyone in line than any teacher or school resource officer did.

 

I'm similar to Stagger in the age thing. I started at a private school and was advanced enough at that level that I skipped both second and third grades. I really didn't like private school, mostly because all of my neighborhood friends went to public school and though I was friends with kids at school, I never saw them socially away from school because they all lived far away.

So I kind of begged my parents into letting me go to public school, but there was a big problem. I would have been eight years old going into the fifth grade. I ended up repeating fourth grade as an acclimation period, and it was the right decision, because I wasn't ready socially or maturity wise to be in a class with a bunch of 10-year-olds. I didn't turn 17 until March of my senior year of high school and was barely 21 when I graduated college. Being a bit younger didn't stunt me that much, but I could imagine being a 16-year-old college freshman living in the dorms would have been difficult.

 

Our youngest is a couple of weeks from turning 3 and his birthday is one day before our district's cut off. We are already debating it. I lean a little toward holding him back at this point -- he'd actually be 4 for the first few weeks of school -- but I don't know. I also have a September birthday and was held back and sometimes I wish I wasn't. Being the oldest in the class has cons just like being the youngest does. I guess we'll just have to give it some time and see. We're thinking of doing a couple of days or hours a week of preschool this year just to see how he does.

As for private school, I think it's all about support systems and what not. Most of us are likely products of public schools. My wife went to one of the more prestigious private schools in our area and her curriculum varied very little from mine. Just depends on your area and what the schools have to offer. Our school system here is very good. I'd never waste the money on private school. Just like the debate about to hold back or not, I think it depends on how well the different schools fit the child and the family.

 

I imagine I'll be in the same boat in a few years. Cutoff in our district is Aug. 1 and our daughter was born just after and just turned 2. Figure she'll either be the youngest or oldest in her class. She's been late to develop and is still behind on the talking front, so the decision will be easy unless she catches up.

I was born in December and always one of the oldest in my class, which had benefits on the driving and buying alcohol front, but never really thought about it academically or emotionally. Seemed to work out just fine. Wife was born in the fall and started as a 4-year-old and excelled and I think kind of looks at that as a badge of honor. That decision obviously worked out well for her family. She had hoped and planned on our daughter doing the same, but her late development has altered that thinking.

I think when the time comes we'll make the decision based on our where our daughter is at and not really worry about the rest. I think if we're borderline we'll opt for waiting.

 

I'm debating between starting her at 4 or starting her at 5.

If I start her at 4, she turns 5 at Thanksgiving. If I start her at 5, she turns 6 at Thanksgiving.

If I start her at 4, there's a whole block of kids starting with her at 6. See the problem?

 

Given that she'd be a 1/3 younger than many classmates, this would settle it for me.

 

Luggy, that is very young to be in school.

Your kid will be graduating high school and still be 17. She will be taking 400 level courses in college when she is 20. She will be looking for work as an adult on a career and be 21.

 

I turned 5 in kindergarten in late September. It was kind of close, but I kind of wish I was held back, all things considered.

One reason was a lot of my friends from Little League and such were a year behind me in school.

I would not want to be turning 5 in November starting school.

 

Devil, I did all that and turned out ok.

And that's the cutoff here. Eligible to start if 5 by Dec. 31.