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The Row gets REALLY bored.

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by EmbassyRow, Apr 10, 2008.

  1. EmbassyRow

    EmbassyRow Active Member

    Last night, to blow off a friend of mine in St. Louis who had been annoying me with text messages, I attempted to confuse him by taking a 1980s song lyric, but using a lot of synonyms in order to completely change the wording of the lyric without changing its meaning.

    He not only knew exactly which song I'd changed, but posted a variation on the next two lines. We've now been trading lyrics for 24 hours.

    Apologies if this has been done before. Still, I post the better alternate lyrics we created. See how many you can get, and how many of us you can stump with your own. Some are ridiculously easy, others obscure.

    - Jocelyn has traveled a great distance for a brief respite. Your presence is requested in these quarters to discuss the matter. I have an overabundance of verbage I would like to express to you. You are already, of course, aware that I prefer women who are, so to say, longer in the tooth than I.

    - The summit of the dwelling! The apex of the abode! The zenith is engulfed in flames! / A liquid extinguishing agent is not required. Allow the motherfucker to continue on its fiery path.

    - In his domain, sketching artworks of the peaks of plate tectonic folds. Indeed, he stands at the summit. The sun a citrusy blond, standing with arms thrust to the heavens, as though in victory...crimson-covered casualties lie at the foot of the mountain.

    - She is nothing more than a young woman from a rural upbringing, existing in solitary surroundings. She used the twilight railway transportation with no specific destination.

    - I often wonder of your thought process should the situation arise wherein I would produce off-key vocal notes. Is it likely you would rise and depart? Rent me your audio senses, and I shall perform for you delightful melodies. I will make every effort to avoid less-than-satisfactory tones.

    - Occasionally, I sense that I do not possess my equal. Occasionally, I sense that I am solitary, save my native Los Angeles.

    - Mentally unstable, though I suppose things simply work themselves out in this way from time to time. Many of us on this Earth going about their daily lives, existing in a hostile and combative state. Perhaps the time has not passed us by where we can co-exist and accept one another, and not see one another in a vile, hostile light.

    - A void exists in the woman; one she would give it all to satiate. However, the black and white combine, leaving only a neutral, dull color. This dashes all her hopes.

    - We are larger-than-life icons of rock and roll. Our phalanges move along our instruments in such a way that, were they to have monetary value, they would be measured by the gold standard. There is literally nowhere we are not adored.
    Our songs embrace pleasurable qualities and verity, though to perform them in public, we require a nominal fee; say, $10,000?

    - I begin to think, with our voices in unison...if this feeling of reality could extend to all things at all times? Is there a moment in the future that my current feelings could be as satisfactory? I pray thee one thing: Though I tell you to cease and desist, swear you won't listen.

    - I finally took possession of an actual guitar. I purchased the instrument at a small shop. I made my guitar scream melodies until I had a filet of fingers. It was around the same time as the moon landing and Woodstock.

    - Lately, you have failed to gaze into your own eyelids when I touch my mouth to yours. The tips of your fingers have become much rougher than they used to be.

    - Please cease and desist, make everything come together perfectly and then open your audio sensory nerves. Frozen water is returning with a state-of-the-art contraption.

    - Behold, the day comes when one will compel you to face the other direction and bid it all adieu.
    In the time until that day comes, however, will you allow them to physically restrain you on the ground, causing you great emotional distress?

    - I am a serviceman, penis-deep in a promiscuous lady of the night. Observe as I not only rev my engine, but depart in the aforementioned car.

    - I rise, and there is not a thing that could destroy my mood. Things are difficult for you? These eyes have witnessed that which is most difficult in this or any other area. I can identify with your emotions. You must be able to deal well with difficulties in order to arrive at a state of realism.

    - I recall the time my mental state was as off-kilter as it could be. Oddly enough, that state of mind was most enjoyable. Even one's mental state of well-being had sounds reverberating in the vast chasm.

    - It is well-known to me that your desire is to break from my company. Still, I hold steady, rejecting your attempts to break free. If forced to grovel and humble myself in order to gain pity from you, it doesn't bother me to do so. Your importance to me is that great.

    - Was there a feeling in you of similarity to the one they call Christ? Did you have any sudden knowledge that, to them, you were a supreme victor?

    - We flail our hands about from a great distance up and come into their lines of vision. They shall utter, 'Descend immediately.'

    - Upon me is yet another time in which I must continue on my journey by myself. Traveling the only strip of transportation of which I am familiar. From birth, I was meant to move isolated, as a nomad would. Still, I am resolved to stop allowing time to pass without doing anything.

    - In a previous time, the amount I did was minimal. However, that minimal amount was insubstantial. Therefore, the minimal amount grew and grew. I simply, and repeatedly, attempted to improve by tiny increments, each a bit superior than the time before it...

    - The fault lies completely with my lineage. I arrived wearing a pair of Noconas...

    - Pardon me as I show my affection to the heavens.

    - And while I am in the midst of roaming, I still make sure that you are in my line of vision. I equate you to a wax-burning light source on a night with sub-zero temperatures. I approach, in closer proximity than I even previously dreamed possible...

    - I am making my way around the home of Elvis on foot, the height of a regulation basketball net above the city's most famous street...

    - When the police's canine task force tracks down the woman, you have a huge opportunity to wait until the following day to locate what you are seeking.
  2. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Clicks and whistles.
  3. EmbassyRow

    EmbassyRow Active Member

    I was afraid this might not go well...
  4. Rumpleforeskin

    Rumpleforeskin Active Member

    One of them is "Excuse me while I kiss the sky."
  5. Flash

    Flash Guest

    Kiss what guy?
  6. DanOregon

    DanOregon Well-Known Member

    Paddle, paddle, paddle that small vessel of yours easily along the tributary.

    Keep doing what you're doing my loser of a male offspring.
  7. Key

    Key Well-Known Member

    This is the classic "The Roof is on Fire" by Rockmaster Scott and the Dynamic 3

    "Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere." - Don't Stop Believing, Journey
  8. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Can I play, since I know half of them?

    Guys this is actually fun if you try. ER and I were messing around with them online last night. I impressed him that I got this one:

  9. Chef

    Chef Active Member


    As the girls always say.......after a long night of blowing people from St. Louis, nothing is better than a Goose Island Knockers.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  10. PeteyPirate

    PeteyPirate Guest

  11. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Love you, FDP.
  12. Steak Snabler

    Steak Snabler Well-Known Member

    1. I bought my first real six string, over at the five-and-dime/played it till my fingers bled/was the summer of 69. (Summer of 69, Bryan Adams)

    2. You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips/there's no tenderness anymore in your finger-tips. (You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling, The Righteous Brothers)

    3. All right stop, collaborate and listen/Ice is back with my brand new invention. (Ice, Ice Baby, Vanilla Ice)

    4. 'Scuse Me While I Kiss the Sky (Purple Haze, Jimi Hendrix)

    5. I'm walkin' in Memphis/Walkin with my feet 10 feet off of Beale (Walking in Memphis/Mark Cohn)

    One other thing, if you're telling a long story "to blow off a friend of mine" should probably come closer to the end than the beginning.
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