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The other side of the headline...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by alleyallen, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    I wanted to subtitle this thread Emotional Body Blows, but I didn't think it would fit in the space allowed.

    First of all, 2008 has been one hell of a year, and not necessarily in a good way, or a bad way. What it has been, however, is a year way overwrought with emotion. From a national perspective, it's been one of the most difficult years this country has ever faced, yet there have been some extraordinary things happen.

    But for me, I'm ready for the year to be over with.

    There's been plenty of good, to be sure. My promotion at work into the role of full-time teacher has made for one of the most amazing years I've ever experienced. And having Little Man at my side throughout it all has made it incredibly rewarding.

    But too much of the good has been tainted and marred with emotional body blows.

    Not long after I got my promotion and was flying high, I lost my first ex-wife and dear friend Ruthie. It was a terribly painful loss and it's one that I and Lieslntx are still struggling with, even to this day.

    I got to experience the joy of traveling to Charlotte in April and do things in my job I'd never done before. I got to meet two SportsJournalists.com posters and that experience, too, was absolutely wonderful.

    This summer, I was blessed with the opportunity to help create a new curriculum that we are now using company-wide, and there was a definite sense of pride in that accomplishment.

    And so far this fall, I've gotten to see the fruit of my labors as class after class, in three or four different cities, went through the course I helped design.

    But then, there's the other side of the headlines...

    My second ex-wife, the mother of Little Man, had been in trouble with the law off and on for the last year and a half. That, alone, was painful and difficult, trying to find a way to explain to a 5-year-old why his mother can't see him. Add to that the fact that she had a baby girl in May, and suddenly he not only doesn't get to see his mother, but his doesn't get to see his one and only sibling in this world.

    And then came the morning, about a week and a half ago. I got a call very early that morning from my mother with the news that my ex-wife was on the front page of the local newspaper, having been arrested by federal authorities. That she's facing, potentially, 10 years in federal prison for a crime she committed while serving the public. I saw my last name, attached to her, appear not only in the local paper, but the Houston Chronicle, as well as two local TV stations' web sites and a host of other associated sites.

    These weren't crimes committed while we were together and I certainly bear no guilt about what she's facing or what she did. But I'm left with the aftermath. Left to try and explain to my son, if that's possible, where his mother and sister is. I haven't been able to do that yet, because quite frankly, how do you tell that to a 5-year-old?

    Add to that the straw, if you will, that broke the camel's emotional back. I foolishly read the reader comments in both newspapers regarding the story, and it was ugly. The things people said about her, without even knowing her, was rough. Yet I made no attempt to defend her, because, quite frankly, she's guilty. There's little defense for what she did.

    But reading those comments made me realize some of the awful things I've said about similar stories of crime and punishment over the years. Things I've even said on this board. And while it's good to have a sense of perspective about things when you're in the business (how do you survive without it?), it suddenly becomes a much different story when the headline is about someone you know. Someone you used to love. Someone who, despite your best efforts to the contrary, still mean a great deal to you, even if it's solely for the role they fill your life.

    I certainly am not attempting to call out anyone on this board, or anyone in the business, for all that's happened. Indeed, the reporters and editors involved were simply doing what we've all done...run a story that's of public interest, and for good reason.

    And, to top it all off, I'm seeing a repeat of my own very painful divorce from that same woman now happening in a family member's life.

    I just needed to vent, and it seems this might be the one place where it's possible to gain a bit of perspective on it all. I'm not looking for sympathy, by any means, because despite it all...life is still good, overall. I have Little Man. I have a fantastic job. I have a wonderful family and a few very good friends.

    But sometimes, you just want to throw up your hands and say to life, "Please, stop. For just a few weeks."

    Thanks for listening.
  2. i don't know you at all, but from what i do know, you and liesl are wonderful people.

    keep up the good fight, and lean upon us as necessary.
  3. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    Alley, I don't really know you, but you, liesl and your dad are some of the best folks here.

    I know life isn't all that easy, but like buck-dub said, this too shall pass.
  4. budcrew08

    budcrew08 Active Member

    I think we've all had times in our lives where the old line comes into play...

    "stop the ride. I want to get off."
    Keep fighting the good fight for yourself and the rest of your family. I don't know you in person, but the way you post on here about your family and life in general are very touching.

    Good luck in dealing with what's going on.
  5. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    Good luck Alley. Remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint. Relish the good times you have with Little Man, because eventually, he won't be so little.
  6. Beaker

    Beaker Active Member

    Good luck Alley, and I hope all turns out well for you and Little Man.
  7. Flash

    Flash Guest

    E-hugs, Alley.
  8. Lieslntx

    Lieslntx Active Member

    Yes, it has been a stop-the-world-and-let-me-off year for both AA and I. I would like to be able to say that on a day he is having a day from hell that I am having a good day and able to help him and vice-versa. Life does not always work out that pretty.

    Myself, it would be just fine to skip Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas and fast-forward to New Year's Eve.

    As for the topic of this thread and being on the other side of a headline. I received the same call that he did about 5 minutes later. And I much as I felt like I was punched in the stomach, I can only imagine what he was feeling. Seeing a family member's name (Ex or not) in print that way was a feeling I have trouble putting into words. We knew it was going to happen, but I really don't think anyone expected it to show up in the newspaper that we both used to work for.
  9. waterytart

    waterytart Active Member

    Just saw this thread, AA. I know you had worried it would take this turn. I wish so much that had just been borrowed trouble.

    You are one of the stand-up guys on this board. I know you will do what is best to help the Little Man and to support your other family member. I will pray that life gives you less to stand up to for a while.
  10. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Hope everything works out for you and the little soldier in your av.
  11. dixiehack

    dixiehack Well-Known Member

    And oh by the way, there was the hurricane for y'all to deal with as well. Sheesh. You both have earned the right to sleep in until kickoff for the Cotton Bowl.
  12. Colton

    Colton Active Member

    Hang tough, Alley.
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