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The old "penis cream" deception

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by ondeadline, Apr 28, 2007.

  1. ondeadline

    ondeadline Well-Known Member

    This woman isn't too bright.

  2. Clever username

    Clever username Active Member

    Is this how Barry Bonds had the cream applied to him?
  3. John

    John Well-Known Member


    Steve Martin: Hi, I'm Steve Martin. With so many celebrities endorsing cosmetics these days, I wanted to make sure the cosmetic I endorsed was very special. That's why I'm proud to put my name on.. Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.. New Formula. Try my new beauty cream, and in a matter of weeks your penis will be looking smoother and softer, the way women like it. And because of the new formula no more scaling. Here's how it works:

    Just take a small amount and rub gently on the penis for several minutes up to a half-hour. You'll notice a difference right away. And, don't worry, a slight discoloration is normal. Bob, tell us, how has my Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.. New Formula helped you?

    Bob Hillets: Well, Steve, I'm in real estate, and if I'm not confident, I can't do my job.

    Steve Martin: And you can't feel confident unless your manhood is smooth and soft, right?

    Bob Hillets: Exactly! If I'm thinking about my appearance, I'm not thinking about selling houses. The day I started using Steve's cream, I sold three houses. Now, I have more energy than before, my confidence is sky-high, I just got my pilot's license, and next week I'm flying solo from L.A. to Tahoe with nothing onboard except two jars of your cream.

    Steve Martin: That's great!

    Bob Hillets: Well, the best part, Steve, is that now I can throw away all those cans of turtle wax.

    Steve Martin: Our next guest actually started using my new cream by accident. Isn't that right, Dave?

    Dave Marcus: That's right, Steve. I thought it was for something else.

    Steve Martin: And now that you've been using the product, how have you found it?

    Dave Marcus: Well, Steve.. I've found I have a lovelier, more luxurious, softer penis than I ever had with other beauty creams, probably because it's the first beauty lotion made especially for the johnson. I'll tell you - if I could afford it, I would use your cream 24 hours a day.

    Steve Martin: And, is your wife more attracted to you now that you've been using my cream?

    Dave Marcus: Well, Steve, my wife recently left me, But before she did, she told me, "I hope you and your Steve Martin's Beauty Cream will be very happy.

    Steve Martin: Well, that's a lovely tribute! Thank you, Dave. Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.. New Formula. You know it's safe. Why? Because it's tested on animals. And, if you order by mail, don't worry - it's shipped in a plain brown wrapper with the words "Not Penis Cream" stamped all over it in big red letters. So pick up a jar today, and remember, it's the only cream with a picture of my penis on it!
  4. ondeadline

    ondeadline Well-Known Member

    No, Bonds took it from the other end. :)
  5. CentralIllinoisan

    CentralIllinoisan Active Member

    "Rape By Deception" is a good band name.
  6. Montezuma's Revenge

    Montezuma's Revenge Active Member

    I love this.

    The bit.

    Not the cream.

    Tastes awful. ;)
  7. RokSki

    RokSki New Member

    I can't believe someone could be this dumb. Wow...
  8. Montezuma's Revenge

    Montezuma's Revenge Active Member

    Dammit, how come I never meet women this dumb?
  9. Perry White

    Perry White Active Member

    More details, including picture: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/6589249.stm
  10. Montezuma's Revenge

    Montezuma's Revenge Active Member

    Well, what woman wouldn't be putty in the hands of this man?

  11. Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously Well-Known Member

    At some point, don't you have to measure the spoils of winning in court against the fact that people will know you fell for something like this? And is anyone else interested in knowing more details about the charges of obtaining money by deception?
  12. boots

    boots New Member

    She is a whore. Next case.
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