The Newlywed Game is on GSN right now

And not the awesome cheesy 70's version, but an awful new version.

Not only is it taped on that boring, antiseptic black/blue/purple-lighted set that every game show from this decade uses, but the fat one from Wilson Phillips is the host. Carnie Wilson? For serious? They couldn't pony up for Delilah? No band. No Eubanks. No repeated questions about whoopee, and the one time a contestant used the phrase, nobody reacted. Utter tripe.

But if you switch now, at 6:30 EDT you can watch a crappy card show hosted by Carlton from Fresh Prince, who can now be called the fat one from Fresh Prince!

God above ...

 

YOU DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF ALFONSO RIBEIRO!!!!

 

The Grandpa and I, before he became the Grandpa, wanted to go on the show after our marriage and say the most horrible things about each other and get them right.

Eubanks: "We asked the guys to finish this sentence, 'When I come home from work, our home smells like blank.' "

Grandpa without batting an eye: "My wife's smelly cooch."

Me holding a sign that says, "My smelling cooch."

Of course, we'd clap, bounce up and down on the loveseat then kiss.

 

whoppee?

 

He was awesome in this.

 

Yeah, Granny, whoppee??.

 

Home of the Whoppee.



Also, that's his answer

 

FANTASTIC pull.

 

Never. Gets. Old.

 

The ultimate urban legend discovered to be true.

 

All I have to say is they better never remake Match Game. It's a classic but with no Gene Rayburn, no Brett Somers, no Charles Nelson Reilly and no Richard Dawson? Fail.