The 'laziest generation'?

I have children. Not that your appeal to authority has any bearing on what the actual question is here, which is whether Mizzou was correct that it is more dangerous for children than 20 or 30 years ago because there are "more sickos."

There is less crime than there was 20 or 30 years ago. Overall, the world is a less dangerous place for children. Provably. Demonstrably.

 

Whitman, do you have a citation for that?

 

I was in junior high in the '60s. When a friend became an altar boy, everyone's immediate reaction was to joke about looking out for the priests. I don't think anyone thought it would happen to someone we knew but, on some level, we knew that it did happen.

Two things that haven't been mentioned about kids not playing unsupervised these days:

If my kid wants to hang with "Emma," her mom is going to be checking that I will be keeping track of them. If I say, "No, I'm a fan of letting them explore the neighborhood and develop some autonomy," Emma ain't coming over.

Because of the above, any unsupervised exploring done by my kid is going to be done solo, while all the other kids are involved in group activities with plenty of parents around. That's where the irrational fear kicks in. If there is a predator cruising the area, my kid's going to be the one easy target.

 

shockey, my guess is the concerns in your old neighborhood are more about drugs and gangs, which definitely have found their way to the pre-teen level, than about a perv snatching your kid off the street, the chance of which really hasn't changed over the years. so there are obviously times to be legitimately concerned and times where it's more hysteria. in my sort-of-suburban neighborhood, i would love to send my kids to the schoolyard on their bikes and they could make it there and back easily, but very few other parents feel the same way.

to be honest my biggest concern is cars, because driving has gotten obscenely worse lately.

 

I agree parents prove to be very wise. But Shockey, aren't you saying your folks gave you a lot more freedom than you gave your kids? So were they a tad naive or wouldn't be able to cut it as folks in today's apparently frightening, danger-around-every-corner world?

I was a latch-key kid from 8 on, alone every day after school and during the summer. It wasn't quite Brooklyn, no. And I know mom at least still regrets that she wasn't able to be home. But if I lived there or even in a bigger place, I wouldn't be afraid to let them run around on their own. Of the things that are going to harm your child, letting them play hoops at the park by themselves - sometimes even at night! - is way, way, way, way down the list.

 

It's only dick behavior if you don't warn them. So put a rule about it in the syllabus, in boldface. Then start deducting grades accordingly.

 

http://www.childtrendsdatabank.org/?q=node/75

 

i agree. i got caught up into getting involved in the 'less safe/safer-predator' issue. if the stats tell us there are fewer victims of 'child-predators' today than yesterday, fine. i'd argue that regardless of the stats the awareness and fear of child-predators has gone way, way, WAY up. but any cause you want to explain it to -- predators, drugs, gangs -- the results are the same: for WHATEVER reason, children IN GENERAL are being 'over-protected' more than ever, resulting in them straying from home/exploring/experiencing/living LESS than ever, and that, partnered with make the 'advancements' which not straying far from home more appealing than ever, has resulted in at least THE SENSE that this may be the 'laziest generation.'

 

When I was 12, as soon as I got off the school bus, I was on my bike riding five miles to the local college to watch the baseball team play. The trip took me through seven or eight neighborhoods, and I'm not sure how much thought my parents gave to allowing me to do it. They just told me to be careful on the roads. It kept me fit, and they let be the batboy. I learned about tobacco and how to curse. And a lot about baseball.

When my kids were that age -- one just graduated high school and the other will be a senior this year -- I wouldn't dream of letting them do anything with that kind of freedom. They got to go hang out with friends and do stuff, but there was a much higher level of supervision. It's a different environment now, and we live in a different town. I fear that we've sheltered them too much, but I haven't had to worry about the pedopiles or my kids getting hit by a car while crossing the street.

 

as for your latter points, it is IMPOSSIBLE to declare the length of the leash on youe kids will be tjis or that before knowing WHERE you're raising them. environment trumps all on this issue.

i do not believe my parents were 'naive' at all. the leash they had my sister and i on was determined by where we were living and the times we were living in. if my sister and i were being raised by our folks today in the same apartment, there is no doubt the leash would've been much tighter. i was 12 when i began taking the D train to yankee stadium with my buds w/o adults supervision. would they allow me to do so today? of course not. heck, even here in 'mayberry' our boys weren't allowed to take the lirr into the city without an adult until they and their friends were 16. times change, the rules change with 'em. you do the best you can to make sure they're at once reasonable for your child and at the same time as safe and responsible for you to be comfortable as their parent.

if we were living where i grew up, when i grew up, i'm sure the boys would've been given the same sized leash i was given. you adapt as you go. as society changes, your 'rules' change with 'em. my guess is we're very much raising the boys with the same guidelines with which we were raised. ideally, isn't this supposed to be where we draw our parenting skills from? if you're lucky, like i've been, you learned from ideal role models. for those less fortunate, i'd hoped there were valuable lessons to be drawn from not having an ideal upbringing.

any way you slice it, parenting is the most difficult, stressful, joyous, rewarding experience anyone could have. but it sure as heck comes without an instruction manual or a rulebook.

 

well put.

you will NEVER convince a parent they should relax the restrictions they put on their child by strutting out WHATEVER the 'stats' say. your job, what you've dedicated your heart and life to, is making sure your child doesn't become one of those 'stats.'

until the 'numerator' is at 0, the arguments are weak-assed spit.

ME: 'my son's not taking the train into the city by himself.'

YOU: 'b-b-b-but the stats tell us it's safer than it ever been!'

ME: 'okay, YOU play the odds with YOUR son. and i'll sleep easier tonight with my son sleeping in his bedroom while YOU'RE waiting up for YOUR son. chances are, hell have a great time and get home safe and sound. but god forbid he doesn't -- i pray that one day you'll sleep easy again.'

child-rearing isn't about playing the odds. it's about playing it safe rather than sorry. i'll save the odds for my nfl pools.