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The Lake House

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by dog428, Jun 21, 2006.

  1. dog428

    dog428 Active Member

    I have sworn on this board many a time that no movie would ever surpass the absolute suckiness that is "Windtalkers."

    I was wrong.

    "The Lake House" has done the impossible. I swear to God, this is the absolute shittiest film I've ever sat through. It hits the trifecta -- plot, acting and script. They all suck absolute balls.

    Since spoiling the plot might actually keep some of you from watching this shit, I'm gonna go ahead and consider what I'm about to post my public service for the week.

    Here's what you're dealing with: A woman moves out of this lake house she's been renting and leaves a letter in the mailbox informing the next tenant to pass her mail on to her forwarding address. The guy who comes in behind her finds her letter in the mailbox and can't figure out what she's talking about, since he owns the lake house and no one other than his family has ever lived in it. As these two exchange letters, they figure out -- I SWEAR TO YOU THAT I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP -- they're living two years apart -- he's in 2004 and she's in 2006.

    Un-by God-believable how bad this thing is. You spend the entire movie saying to yourself, "What the hell?"

    It's simply unimaginable that a movie studio read this script and said, "Gold." Hell, it's unimaginable that anyone even put this shit down on paper and showed to someone else.

    God, it's terrible.
  2. ifilus

    ifilus Well-Known Member

    It's imaginable that the movie studio imagined someone would be foolish enough to spend his money on a ticket.
    And you proved them right.
  3. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    And absurdo dogturdo has been schooled.

    The bell rings. Time to go home and get that sugar cookie, absurdo. The lesson is over.
  4. HoopsMcCann

    HoopsMcCann Active Member

    there are these people, perhaps you've heard of them, who work at these things called newspapers and they go to movies and tell their readers if the movie sucked. you know, maybe you should look into 'em

    (and i'm not talking about dog)
  5. dog428

    dog428 Active Member

    The truly sad thing here is that me and polo have had this discussion before, back when dude went completely ape-shit crazy over the Wedding Crashers. Dumb, an asshole and forgetful -- not a good combo there, polo.

    For the record, I haven't paid to see a movie in years. And if I had a choice, I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 30 minutes of this shitty film.
  6. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    If dogturdo ...

    Never mind. There's no good way of responding to this without violating the board rules.
  7. westcoastvol

    westcoastvol Active Member

    Speed 1 box office: 121.2 million dollars
    Speed 2 box office:  48.6 million dollars

    Keanu's career gross:  $1,635,699,504
    Sandra's career gross: $1,114,310,175

    Source: boxofficemojo.com
  8. westcoastvol

    westcoastvol Active Member

    If he's been dead since 2004, that would make it about a year after the last Matrix movie...yeah, it checks out to me.
  9. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    Well, now that you've gone on the record ...

    I don't know a lot of what you're talking about, but I did go back and get some of the details. From what I gather, you seem to be a little off. Apparently you didn't like an innocuous comment or two, so you decided to start some bullshit, and it escalated from there.

    I "assumed" you had not paid to see this movie, but the response to your idiotic post was so good that I couldn't pass it up.

    Basically I don't give a shit if you are the greatest movie expert on the face of the planet. To me, you're simply an ass-clenching, ultraliberal fucktard who cries out to be smacked down repeatedly. The second post here accomplished that.
  10. buckweaver

    buckweaver Active Member

    Post of the day!
  11. dog428

    dog428 Active Member

    That's all fine, but I'm talking about the actual greenlighting of this film, which had to occur before Reeves and Bullock were issued contracts. Yeah, they could've agreed to do it, which would've made it a bit more attactive, but still, Christ, somebody felt good enough about this script to give somebody the OK to set up production.

    And for the record, The Lake House makes Speed look like an Oscar winner.
  12. dog428

    dog428 Active Member

    You "assumed" huh? But yet you went ahead and posted your usual dumb shit, asshole spiel and in the process made yourself, once again, look like a dipshit. Well done, dickhead.

    And keep posting that you've smacked me down. Maybe if you post it enough, you'll convince yourself it's true.
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