The kinkiest real estate listing

Most hotel rooms and houses have been fucked in.

 

I saw a, uh, film once with Nina Hartley as a real estate agent and Peter North as the prospective buyer. That's what I thought of here.

 

Yeah, but most don’t have sex swings and a pillory in them.

 

There’s at least four different bear rugs in that house.

 

They are going to look funny after they have been bleached.

 

Polar bears.

 

A lot of people die in hotel rooms too.

 

One of my good friends' fathers died suddenly in a hotel room. It took them three days to figure out that he was missing and get someone to check on him.

 

I checked into a nice hotel in Arizona and went to the room, only to be unable to open the door because the chain was drawn across. Wicked smell, though. Went back down to the front desk. They gave me a new room before it was discovered that the previous occupant was deceased in the bed and had been there for some time. I was suddenly less worried about the usual black light concerns.

 

Gf’s nephew went AWOL from a halfway house, went on a bender in a hotel room, and passed away.

That’s partly why I brought the morbid subject up. It’s awful. Probably happens far more often than people realize.

 

Yup. One of my old college professors — who was one of my mentors and friends — died in a hotel room. Not many people outside of close friends know that detail because it's just so shuddering awful to think that if he had been at home, or in public, he would have lived. Instead it was a day or two before they kicked the door in to find him on the floor.

 

Bullshit