The Journalism Bowl: Ohio vs. Missouri, this week!

What? You dare sully the reputation of The Big M of the Midwest, Marching Mizzou!!!!!!

Mizzou by 11.

 

I beg your pardon.

 

I'd say something mean about your football team, but well, that would be dumb.
Besides, take your private school education somewhere else. Hahahaha.













I'm poor.

 

Hey, I'm only going for grad school, not the whole four years. Plus I'm commuting.

And my team will get better.

 

You know where I stand on this one. Bobcats, I'm with you this week. Muck Fizzou.

 

Holy Toledo!

 

What's Gary Pinkel's record against the Jayhawks?

 

Ohio doesn't allow non-qualifiers, does it? Because, you know, those players can make a difference in a game.

 

Shit, I bet Ohio's got more non-qualifiers than Akron, Boise State and Fresno State combined

 

In honor of this game, the computers in the press box will all run on Windows 95.

The players and coaches will all park 10 blocks from the stadium. All available spaces will be reserved for ad salespeople and university fundraisers.

Any players who break their equipment will have to live with it; there's no money in the budget for replacements until next year, if we're lucky.

All rules for the game will be "gray"; anyone who complains loud enough and long enough can get one or all of them changed.

The best-looking formations on offense and defense will earn points. It doesn't matter if you can't possibly complete or stop a play with the formation. If it looks good, it must be right.

After the game, please allow time for the score to be retallied. AP will move 25-30 write-thrus to correct details; be ready for this as well.

When leaving, fans should put their bottles, napkins and uneaten hot dog buns into the bins for recycling. Poynter's Al Tompkins will serve as voluntary usher and bin emptier.

The start time for this game will be reported 25 different ways. Make your best guess to arrive in time for the kickoff.

All cutlines will report only the players' uniform numbers. The rest of the information is available from the program or on the Internet.

After the game, seniors will be taken off scholarship. After all, there are plenty of freshmen who have potential and that gleam in their eyes, and we need to clear spaces for them. Seniors will be escorted from the stadium; their clothes and belongings will be mailed to them later.

 

But the tailgating will be good. After the game, Chase Daniel gets more pussy than Hugh Hefner.