The invasion of the sports section

...with Figure Skating and Gymnastics.

 

I just fear we are on our way to putting the results of Reality TV show competitions in the sports section. I'm joking ... but not really.

 

Because it's the foot in the door toward running that shit in the sports section the rest of the time.

No pro wrestling in the sports section, ever.

And Jim Rome's listening audience has an average IQ barely out of cool room temperature.

 

Hypothetical scenario: the director of the local symphony gets a DUI while returning home from winning the city golf tournament hosted at a new $40 million golf club funded by a consortium of local business leaders.

Which section covers the story?

 

1. Duke lacrosse. Once in court, it's news.
2. Benoit. Anyone who doesn't think this is a news section story should not be in the news business.
3. Hot dog champ. If I were a sports editor (quickly crosses self), I would not object to carrying this story. It's funny, and funny stuff has to go in the paper somewhere. It's not anyone's being asked to create a competitive eating beat job.
4. Clutch, I like yout hypothetical. I say, massive team effort from all sections. Put all stories in special section presented to win every prize in journalism. Bound to win one.

 

I don't live in the NYC area at the moment, but I remember when I did, I remember thumbing through the NY Daily News and seeing pro wrestling results in the sports agate.

As for our shop, we can't decide where we want Benoit to go. I was on vacation when the bodies were discovered so I don't know what the discussions were, but when I came back and asked about him, my SE told us that newside had taken it. Then yesterday, Benoit was in the sports section.

Apparently we're wishy washy like that.

As for me, I'd put dog shows in features and a tiny japanese man eating too many hot dogs nowhere.

This is what I can't stand about ESPN. They put poker, billiards and hot dog-eating contests on TV and the great unwashed masses - which includes newsside management on some occasions - think it's a sport.

 

Cops beat makes the calls and gets the hard news. Entertainment writer gets quotes from first violin and the "no comment" from the conductor's lawyer. Golf writer talks to the guy serving drinks at the clubhouse. Business writer gets close enough to the CEOs to smell their breath. Agate guy inputs the tournament scores. Football writer does tournament story because golf writer is into overtime for the week. Cops reporter writes DUI story. Metro desk suggests headlines. Publisher knows conductor really well, kills story.

 

Topnotch stuff, brother.

 

How does a story about a double-murder suicide that touches heavily on steroid usage lead to having Raw and Smackdown results in the paper every day?

Sports should run the Benoit story if we think that's where our readers will expect to find it. That's why poker finds its way into sports sections and bridge onto the comics page, even though both involve the same equipment and amount of physical action.

 

Maybe poker has found its way into YOUR sports section, but we've successfully put our hammer down on that one, too. So far.

At certain places at certain times, legend has it there have been competitive masturbation contests: speed, accuracy, distance, quantity.

Those going in the sports section too?

 

An SEC coach -- not sure which (Polk? Bertman?) -- once said, "Do you know what a competitor is? A guy who finishes first and second in a masturbation contest."

 

And the choir sings "Amen."