The "Homer" sports writer

The chinese symbol tat on the neck adds a nice touch.

 

I've seen a reporter cry after the team he covered lost, and I know this happened on at least one other occasion.

I've also seen a reporter -- if you want to call him that ... he's an old man who writes for a tiny weekly rag and rides in a motor scooter -- get ejected from a baseball game for berating the umpire.

 

Holy. Shit.

I'm on day 3 of covering my state's wrestling finals, and two shitstainville reporters have been cheering all weekend. Less than a minute ago, they were jumping up and down, screaming at their guy. And when he got the last second victory, started yelling "Yeah Baby! WOOOOH!" and whistling. I gave him the ugliest look I could and another person working on press row told em (sarcastically) to cheer louder next time. Dicks don't even realize they're giving us a bad name when they do it.

 

Heard this one from a co-worker. Football game several years ago, our local school is on the road for a big division game. Local school scores a touchdown late to take the lead, and the SE from the other team's paper kicks the pylon over in disgust. Guy has been there for a long time, maybe even grew up there.

As for the "good luck" debate, I see no problem with it. Like others have said, it's being courteous and not a total dickhead. In fact, I've found it's usually a good way to wrap up the conversation: "Well coach, I think that's about all I need. Good luck to you and we'll see you on Friday night."

 

A guy got ejected from a baseball game? Damn.

How often has something like that happened?

 

Also have to be careful what colors you wear. I never wear the color of the team I am covering or anything with their logo on it. Saying good luck to a coach is fine by me. I mean, we are human beings, aren't we? Cheering by reporters is a no-no in my book. Hate use of the word "we" Saw a radio announcer almost get ejected for throwing his arms up more than once to question a call. He almost got the boot. Radio people are the worst homers in the world. Some TV people are, too. When I am covering a game, prep or college I wear neutral colors. Heck, I don't even have a cap of the prep team I cover. ... I have material of the college team, but don't wear it to a game I am covering. ...

 

I'm at a girls' state basketball tournament a couple of years ago. Every writer on press row notices the kid from the Hayseed Weekly, who looks like he's been out of high school for all of a week. He's wearing Hayseed's colors, cheering for Hayseed on press row...and no one's saying anything to him. We're figuring the state athletic association will eventually see/hear this cockbag and pull his credentials.

Never underestimate the density of state athletic associations.

Hayseed makes its way to the state title game (which it eventually wins). We've been making fun of the guy the entire weekend to one another, which gives us something to enjoy outside of the basketball. Anyway, I'm filing my gamer and sidebar on the third-place team from my area as the state finalists are warming up on the court.

One of my esteemed colleagues (I certainly hope he's reading this, since he's become more lurker than poster lately) flies into the press room and pulls me out of my chair. Says I've got to see this to believe it.

The Hayseed Weekly asshole, press credentials around his neck, is smack-dab in the middle of the Hayseed student section, jumping and screaming like the rest of the little shits.

My mother now teaches math at Hayseed High School. I wish she didn't.

 

Maybe it is reporting. You do that and get them comfortable enough to say ANYTHING to you then after you have all the dirt you rip off the shirt to reveal a plain colored shirt and go "haha suckers! I care not about your team!" and run away.

 

I accidentally did that once. A coach made sure to mention it to me, though we got along well enough that I think he knew it was not intentional.

So now, the colors are simpler. Much simpler.

 

I think I've told this story before: I covered a state wrestling tournament within the past few years. For the finals, I'm on press row. Next to me is a woman wearing a tye-dyed wrestling T-shirt featuring a particular school.

The finals start, and she starts yelling. Cheering for every one of the kids she was covering. I held it for about three matches.

"Ma'am?" Didn't hear me. Too busy screaming.

"Ma'am!" Ditto.

"MA'AM!" Finally, she perks up. "This is a working press area. There should be no cheering!"

"Well, I'm sorry, I just get excited for the kids," she says, rather snottily.

"Ma'am, we may be excited for the kids we cover too. But look up and down - none of the rest of us is screaming."

[muttering]

Us and our high-fallutin' rules.

 

One of our area football teams won its first-round playoff game in overtime after having something like five possessions inside the 20 fail to produce points. I caught up to the coach, whom I've dealt with for several years now, just as his wife did. She planted a big ol' congratulatory smooch on him and his lips were still puckered when he turned to me.

A handshake was all he got.

 

As I've said (and been made fun of for) many times, my standard attire for covering football is a white polo and khaki slacks. I have yet to run into a team with that color scheme.