"The Force Awakens" (with SPOILERS)

Well, at least we know it won't be based on the novel.

 

Finished up watching "Return of the Jedi" with my son yesterday, completing his first viewing of the original trilogy and, man, I forgot how bad some of the decisions were in "enhancing" the original trilogy. Probably the most jarring remains the addition of Hayden Christensen in Sebastian Shaw's place alongside Obi Wan and Yoda. My son was like, "Who's that guy?" because he still hasn't seen the prequels. I get that Lucas was saying that it is Anakin taking his place alongside Obi Wan and Yoda, not Darth Vader, so he essentially reverted to his former self, but it really doesn't work. Also, that final song is so melancholy, it really doesn't fit with the visuals of the celebrations across the galaxy (forget for a moment that those were stupid, too). The original ewok song at the end is far superior, as is the original song performed in Jabba's palace.

The subtler enhancements worked much better, such as more dynamic X-Wing/TIE fighter battles, the Sarlacc pit, and some of the background animals/stormtroopers on Tatooine.

 

The Sebastian Shaw bitch is ridiculous.

Having Anakin/Darth revealed to be a 65-70 year old guy was stupid back in 1983. He didn't get around to fathering Luke/Leia until he was 45-50?

Of all the things to bitch Lucas out about, and there are plenty of them, this is one of the worst.

Probably next to the Boba Fettishists.

 

Something I saw on reddit: The sequel trilogy titles so far form a sentence.

The Force awakens the last Jedi.

Of course, another movie is on the way in a few years.

 

Episode IX will be called "And he hits the snooze."

 

With A Galactic Fart.

 

Sure, why not:

 

First look at the "Young Han Solo" cast:



Former Penn State basketball player Joonas Suotamo (who is 6-10) as Chewbacca.

Han Solo - Smuggler. Scoundrel. Hero. A New Star Wars Story Begins | StarWars.com

 

A first step toward rebooting Star Wars. Tell me they won't add Young Leia and Young Luke to the sequel.

 

I doubt they'll make "Solo Solo" into a sub-franchise of its own unless this first movie is a Death Star-level (or at least Rogue One-plus) blockbuster -- there are too many other SW stories to be told. Kenobi in Exile, Vader Rises, Aftermath of Endor, etc etc etc. And that hasn't even plumbed any of the storylines or characters from Ep. 1-3. Young Yoda and Maz in a Casablanca-style wartime romance?

If Disney sticks to its plan of one new SW film per year -- the main franchise installments in the odd years and the 'SW Universe' pics in the even -- you can't break Han Solo off into a multi episode franchise of his own.

(Of course, they could do the franchise movies one every THREE years, with two 'Universe' pictures in between. )

I kinda doubt we'll see the Skywalker twins themselves -- they'd be school-age kids in this timeline and Third Grade Anakin already laid a monster turd -- but I'd bet good money on a somewhat-greyed Ewan McGregor popping up as Ben Kenobi, the crazy old hermit, in the Solo movie.

We know Solo and Jabba the Hutt had a fairly extensive history so I'd certainly expect to see that slimy fatfuck.

It won't be a reboot, but a fill-in-the-gaps interquel.

 

Well, that was an unnecessary visual.