The ex dilemma

Potty time is private time.

 

Is that the guy with the old balls?

 

Hey, I tried to "de-friend" an ex once by telling her to leave me the hell alone and stop showing up to my apartment unannounced. She then e-mailed me a voodoo doll, with my name on it and pins stuck all over it.

 

Is this a same-sex relationship? I'm just trying to figure out all the players. It's signed "Thanks Abby," but the mention of the person is a "she."

Anyhoo, define who's who.

Is the other person "batshit crazy"? Does she lie? Manipulate?

Why don't you just move on, forget, steer clear of regret?

 

I'm a man, she's a woman. The "Thanks Abby" was because it started feeling a hell of a lot like a Dear Abby letter by the time I was done.

She neither lies nor manipulates - she's maybe the most honest, earnest person I've ever met. Which is why it's been pretty easy not to be a dick to her, but hard to just let go of the situation. It basically ended because she'd had gone a little too long doing mental gymnastics to convince herself she was OK with not being married, and lost track of her identity somewhere in the process. Can't really say I blame her.

 

Why didn't you propose?

 

Xan - A bunch of personal baggage. The funny thing is, I'd worked though that shit and was planning to propose right around now. She figured that out, and it ultimately made her realize she was over it and sped the end of it.

Moddy - I'm not really sure why. I'm basically a nobody on here anyway, I just wanted a little extra anonymity 'cause it's still a touchy subject for me, and I wasn't really sure what kind of response to expect. (The response has been amazing and helpful, by the way.)

 

I'm confused. It ended because of the problems she had relating to not being married, but she broke up with you because she figured out you were planning to propose?

 

Yeah - basically she'd resigned herself to the idea that we were never going to get married, and started mentally distancing herself from the relationship. By the time I got it in my head to go for it, the ship had sailed. I know that sounds a little odd, but them's the facts.

 

I've never heard of that? I can understand her frustration, but if she figured it out you were going to propose, I'd think she'd be jumping for the moon all googlie with girlie delight. Maybe she never liked you in the first place. Maybe you were just an easy mark to pay half the rent.