The best advice you've ever gotten?

Get your finger out of your nose.

 

Avoid the clap

 

Obviously, rule #1: Leave the Gun, Take the Canolis

 

A wise coach once said:

There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

 

Note to self:
Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't spit into the wind.
Don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger.
Don't mess around with Jim.

 

I once messed around with Jim, what a mistake.

 

Is this your work uniform?

 

My history teacher, freshman year of high school (a Catholic school) taught us the serenity prayer, which I later learned was used in A.A. I'm not religious, but the message really gets to me, especially after losing a close family member who battled alcoholism.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

 

Don't eat yellow snow.

 

From my dad, a not-so sage coach:
"We win as a team, we lose as a team, we run as a team."

 

Good advice from an old columnist I wished I'd listened to when starting my career:
"Son, get out of this business before it's too late."

Good advice from a couple of guys I did listen to and practice.
1. (question: Why do you drink light beer) "Because you can drink more of it."
2. (when I was about 19 from a geezer who likely wasn't my age now) "Liquor makes you drunk. Beer just makes you feel good."

 

"There's no such thing as a free lunch"


Also, from my parents when I was little and we would have a nice dinner out at a nice restaurant, and I wasn't hungry enough to finish my meal: "Eat your meat, it's what we paid for."