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The absolute worst small talk EVER

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by BYH, Dec 9, 2009.

  1. albert77

    albert77 Well-Known Member

    Great product. Wife and I use it all the time. ::)
     
  2. Idaho

    Idaho Active Member

    BYH might not have used it, but Tiger Woods his wife has ... and with fabulous results.

    And, along the same line of thought, I noticed Smiling Bob is now for sale over the counter at convenience stores. Right next to the 5 Hour Energy, Horny Goat Weed and Durex at checkout.
    [​IMG]
     
  3. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Well-struck. :D
     
  4. Idaho

    Idaho Active Member

    that's what she said
     
  5. Trey Beamon

    Trey Beamon Active Member

    Rejected album cover No. 2,589.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  6. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    I am going to fucking kill you, Trey. :D :D :D
     
  7. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    If you'd hung around, this sounds like a type who might discuss the back door and shit in a box!
     
  8. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Look, everyone's looking at this the wrong way. FINALLY someone was worried about Mrs. BYH being satisfied. And BYH just shunned the guy.

    What a husband!
     
  9. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Dear Bizarro World Penthouse Forum,

    I was at the pharmacy, minding my own business, frustrated with the inefficiency of health care, when I saw the man of my dreams in line with me. He was carrying a box of KY Yours And Mine, which really piqued my interest, even if I gave off the impression I was disgusted by it like everyone else in line. Yet, I couldn't keep my eyes off that box and the wonders it might contain for me and this mysterious man of my dreams.

    This just wasn't me. I'm a sheltered, introverted man who really only gets crazy when You Can Still Rock In America comes on the radio. That goes for my sex too. Strictly hetero, straight-laced, and if I'm being honest, usually for very short bursts of passion ... think like eight seconds. I was so confused! Why was I being tempted by the fruit of a stranger at Walgreens?

    Then my confusion was interrupted by an atom bomb delivered straight from his lips.

    "You ever try this?" he says and points to it.

    I was so shocked by his brazen outward gesture and also by his svengali-like detection of my arousal. If I were a woman, I'd have been wetter than Meredith Baxter-Birney in a roomful of schoolgirls.

    I was frozen in ecstasy and couldn't muster a response, my dumbfoundedness giving him a chance to make an even more brazen move. He took me by the hand and we sprinted out of that Walgreens. As we did, I heard Tiffany's I Think We're Alone Now come over the speakers, how apropos! ...

    ... three months later, I haven't looked back, my new beau has widened my horizons beyond my wildest imagination ... and dreams. The most important thing is that he's cured me of my eight-second affliction. Who knew that when I had that chance meeting with Jack (I call him "Blades", for reasons beyond the Night Ranger connection that can filed under "Don't kiss and tell" ;) ;) ), at the pharmacy, that my life would be changed forever!

    Loved and lubed for more than eight seconds at a time,
    BYH

    :D :D :D
     
  10. fishhack2009

    fishhack2009 Active Member

    Awww, what's in the boxxxx?? :D
     
  11. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    The genesis of this is college -- 20+ years ago. I will NEVER use a free condom that has been sitting left out. There was a free magazine for college kids they used to distribute at the student unions, and every once in a while one of the condom companies would insert a free condom. I know a guy who would go through the whole rack of magazines and poke holes in the condoms with a pin, through the wrapper. His reasoning was that anyone who uses a condom they pick up for free in a public place deserves what he is doing to them.

    I don't agree and wonder why this was his pet issue. But since then when I hear the words "free condoms," I think of that.
     
  12. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Your friend is a terrible, terrible, person.
     
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