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The absolute worst small talk EVER

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by BYH, Dec 9, 2009.

  1. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    So I'm at the pharmacy--that shining beacon to the inefficiency and inadequacy of the American health care system, we're no. 18, we're no. 18!!!!--waiting at 7 pm last night for medication that was supposed to be ready at 3:30. I hear someone behind the counter say my last name so I move up to the line. A few seconds later, some dude who was perusing the "family planning" section comes up to me and says he was in line before me. I am just too disgusted with the process to argue with him, so I step aside.

    In doing so, I notice that he is holding what can best be described as a "mutual self-help" device a man would use with a lady, and vice versa. It's not something I'd buy in a pharmacy full of coughing, impatient, mostly weird people, but hey, maybe he's horned up and has the wife ready to go at home. I dunno.

    So we're standing there for a few more seconds when he turns to me.

    "You ever try this?" he says and points to it.


    I briefly thought about telling him about my quick trigger reputation and how I just don't have time for something like that, or quite frankly the need. Readiness = not an issue for me. I also thought about yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ASKING ME THAT?!" but chose restraint.

    "No," I said. "But good luck to you."

    Then thankfully my name was called and I was outta there. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? Next time just prattle on about the rain coming tomorrow and how we had no fall. Shit.
  2. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    I predict epic status for this thread. I cannot wait to see where this one goes...

  3. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Sure he wasn't trying to pick you up, BYH?
  4. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Had my order not been ready eight seconds later, I might have found out.
  5. forever_town

    forever_town Active Member

    What IS it with you anyway, beej?
  6. Trey Beamon

    Trey Beamon Active Member

    Bitch BYH should've thrown a rock at the guy. [/crossthreading, I think]
  7. nmmetsfan

    nmmetsfan Active Member

    It worked great, by the way
  8. ripple

    ripple Member

    I have a similar yet unrelated gripe. I don't know when they started doing it, but a local pharmacy now locks up the items in its family planning aisle like it's the video game cabinet at Wal-Mart.
    As if going to buy condoms wasn't awkward enough, now you have to ask the clerk to unlock the damn case for you.

    ETA: I opened this thread thinking the title was "worst smack talk ever" and the enclosed picture really piqued my curiosity.
  9. I Should Coco

    I Should Coco Well-Known Member

    Tell that guy to get the latest edition of this magazine:

  10. Sam Mills 51

    Sam Mills 51 Active Member

    *Still laughing so hard I can barely type ... *
  11. nmmetsfan

    nmmetsfan Active Member

    The town I grew up in, you could get condoms for free at the courthouse, no questions asked. They had a little bowl of them, like candy, at the main desk. I'm not sure who supplied them but we sure as hell took advantage
  12. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    What fortuitous timing.
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