The 10 most pointless, yet funny, rivalries

Eh. By the time I get there, all my luck will be pissed down my leg.

 

Jerry Mitchell vs. Buddy Revell

... ah, dang picture ain't loading

 

Sirs, Madames,

Buddy Sorrell vs Mel Cooley

YHS, etc

 

Fred Sanford vs. Aunt Esther

 

I completely disagree. This is a phenomenal rivalry. To prove it, I'm going to post something I wrote about a year ago regarding their rivalry. (Actually, it's the only post I've ever made that someone followed with a "post of the year nominee.")


There is something to be said for both theories, but I think it goes deeper. Do we know how they first came into contact? Was it a chance meeting? Was Wile E. hunting the Road Runner? What was said? Maybe the Road Runner said something like "You'll never catch me you fucking pussy." At that point, Wile E. has no choice but to devote his life to catching that fucking bird.

Even if the Road Runner just played it cool and didn't say any shit like that, a rivalry emerged somewhere along the line. You never give up on a rival. Never. And Wile E., always the coyote's coyote, lived by those same words. Maybe the first two meetings were flukes and the Road Runner escaped. But, by that time, it was too late. It became a disease.

Someone asked about buying a chicken farm instead. That person is a quitter. If some fucking bird ran you off a cliff more than 75,000 times, caused you to be involved in more than 15,000 explosions and was the reason you've had anvils and boulders dropped on your head for the last 15 years and you fucking LIVED, you're telling me you wouldn't spend every waking moment hunting down that mother fucker?

Every night, Wile E. went to sleep hearing that incessant fucking "Beep beep." It haunted his dreams...if he could even sleep. Could you rest if you'd been bested every god damned day of your adult life? I couldn't.

And neither could Wile E.

 

Itchy and Scratchy

 

Holy shit, Xan. Good call.

 

Uncle Jesse vs. Boss Hogg

 

Maryland vs. N.C. State. As in, why the HELL are they on during "rivalry week"?