That quirky thing about yourself that no one knows...

Poor guy.

 

I can always masturbate. Tips?

 

I'm trying to decide if this means I have jerked off while looking at excrement or I have eroded myself through indulgent fap sessions.

 

That reminds me of when the Catholic Church had my wife and I do marriage mentoring before we got married.

We met this couple and it was pretty clear right off the bat that absolutely none of us had our hearts in this. They kind of half-assed this boilerplate, "marriage is a daily test, but it's also an affirmation of your Catholic faith" horseshit they were to tell us.

But what stuck out is they cautioned against the little things that were going to drive each other nuts. The husband mentioned that his wife never re-rolled up the toilet paper in the bathroom and it drove him nuts.

I just looked at the guy and couldn't decide if he was the dumbest fucking human being on the face of the Earth at that moment or if his wife was.

A) Who can't control their toilet paper roll? It isn't the fucking dog-walking path from the Jetsons, it's a god damn cardboard tube.

I had this mental picture of his wife on the toilet rolling herself a square or two, then suddenly, some, I dunno, spring or something, loses its shit, and the toilet paper roll starts dangerously unfurling! Jane, stop this crazy thing!

B) I sort of agree with him in the respect who can't at least make a cursory re-roll or just cut your losses and tear off the paper that hits the ground. His wife must be either a complete hilljack, ditzy moron or both. On the other hand ...

C) Is it really something to draw a line in the sand about? Is it really something you want to advertise to young couples? I'm crazy picky about toilet paper hitting the ground, etc., but I'm not going to call out the HAZMAT team if I happen to see the toilet paper roll unfurled.

I then began to question the entire premise of their marriage if they were this anal about something so trivial. What a couple of morons. They deserve each other.

Now I'm going to go in my kitchen and mumble under my breath as I find an empty ice tray my wife forgot to fill.

 

Soooooo ... which is it?

I've got an assload of cash on "both".

 

I assumed feces. And what are your altruistic fap sessions like?

 

Careful saying "assload" with this guy. You may land in his pornographic memory.

 

My webcam broke a few months ago, if that's what you're asking.

 

I haven't read a single book mentioned on the novel thread. I haven't masturbated to any of them either.

 

Dude, I'm pretty much the opposite.

http://www.joesnxnw.com/article.php?story=2008041817220474

 

Outing alert: Bubbler is