Thanks, housekeeping staff!

Christ, leave a note if there are no envelopes in the desk drawer in the room

I assume you have a pen and a piece of paper.

 

Late night, "Do not Disturb" sign on the door, early morning sleep that is so welcome.

BAM BAM BAM

"HouseKEEPing!"

I lost it, ripped open the door, yanked the "Do not Disturb" sign off the handle and screamed, "Can you not read this fucking sign?"

Then I put it back, closed the door and went back to sleep.


Always let the front desk manager know if something isn't cleaned, they knock when you don't want them to or whatever. It never hurts to let them know.

 

Complain and demand 10,000 Marriott points.

 

Whatever you do, do NOT touch the remote. You don't want to know what vile substances are on hotel remotes.

Same goes for bedspreads. They never get washed.

 

I've been known to Lysol a remote and will generally take my own comforter. It's anal of me I know.

 

I have stayed hundreds and hundreds of nights in hotels and have never done that. Maybe I'm just not staying in nice hotels.

 

I've never been the same after watching an NBC news story about the uncleanliness of hotels. You wouldn't believe all the bodily fluids their black light thing picked up -- and this was at like 10 different fancy hotels. It was like Ron Jeremy lived there. I've been putting the remote in a plastic bag ever since, and I kick the bedspread to the floor.

 

Yeah, tip on a daily basis. Usually that big folder with the room service menus has some envelopes in it. Failing that, fold a sheet of paper, write "Housekeeper" on it in big letters and leave it someplace conspicuous, like propped against one of the phones.

Tipping at checkout does no good because it doesn't work as theft insurance. Plus, I have a theory that some housekeepers are resentful about their lot in life and will run your toothbrush through their crack if they don't see a tip.

BTW, always look under the bed as soon as you check into a room.

 

Michael: Woah, what are all those stains?
Dwight: Blood, urine, or semen.
Michael: Oh god, I hope it’s urine.

 

Why?

 

Keep your stuff in a large man purse. Problem solved.

 

Doesn't sound like you all are "tipping" the maids.

Sounds like you are being extorted.