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Texas Naked Twisterers: Don't shove morality down our throats.

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by DanOregon, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. DanOregon

    DanOregon Well-Known Member

    DUNCANVILLE, Texas (AP) -- The most popular address on Cedar Ridge Drive is Jim Trulock's split-level home, which has a group sex room and attracts as many as 100 people to swinger parties featuring "Naked Twister" nights.

    Duncanville city officials met recently to outlaw sex clubs in residential areas.

    But the festivities could soon be over. In response to neighbors' complaints, the city has outlawed sex clubs in residential areas. Citations have been issued, and search warrants may be next.

    "It's crazy that they want to force their morality down our throats," said Dawn Burton, 45, a regular guest at the parties. "We're all frustrated."
  2. Ben_Hecht

    Ben_Hecht Active Member

    Four down, twelve to go . . . Miss Francis?

    "Shoving, or forcing?"
  3. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    If the home owner isn't charging admission, is it technically a club? If he's letting them in for free, how is that different than a Tupperware party or Bible study? (Aside from the sex, of course.)
  4. lono

    lono Active Member

    "Left hand, blue!"
  5. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Homer: You could close down Moe's
    Or the Kwik-E-Mart
    And nobody would care!
    But the heart and soul
    Of Springfield's in
    Our Maison Derriere!

    [music starts]

    Belle: We're the sauce on your steak,
    We're the cheese in your cake,
    We put the spring in Springfield.

    Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown,

    Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown,

    Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.

    Belle: We're that little extra spice
    That makes existence extra-nice,
    A giddy little thrill
    At a reasonable price.

    Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's
    With your total lack of morals.

    Dancing Girl 3: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad,

    Dancing Girl 4: They seem to entertain your dad!

    Belle and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini,
    The clams on your linguine,
    Yes we keep the
    [Belle flicks Bumblebee Man's antenna]
    In Springfield!

    Wiggum, Krusty & Skinner: We remember our first visit,

    Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite!

    Mrs Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea!

    Mayor Quimby: Come on now, you were working here!

    Grampa and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun
    Since March of 1961!

    Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted,

    Jimbo, Dolph & Kearney: We just heard this place existed!

    Dancing Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo,

    Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu,

    Dancing Girls: So don't take the
    [Barney opens a jack-in-the-box]

    Mob: We won't take the
    [Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle]

    Everyone: Yes let's keep the
    [Moe crashes two garbage can lids together]
    In Springfield!
  6. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    George, [at Monk's with Jerry]: "So she coughed."

    Jerry: "Coughing... naked... It's a turn-off, man."

    George: "Everything goes with naked."

    Jerry: "When you cough, there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly
    spring into action. It's like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in his
    stomach in slow motion."

    George: "Oh, you spoiled, spoiled man. Do you now how much mental energy I
    expend just trying to picture women naked?"

    Jerry: "But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad
    naked. Naked hair brushing, good; naked crouching, bad. Hey, there's Hanke."
  7. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Doug Heffernan went to the store the other day and picked up Twister, you know, just in case Carrie wanted to play Naked Twister. It's a good thing they live in New York.
  8. Mystery_Meat

    Mystery_Meat Guest

    I bet a lot of those folks don't need much shoved down their throats.
  9. outofplace

    outofplace Well-Known Member

    That, or they like having things shoved down their throats.
  10. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    That's quality work, Beej.

    I take back all of the bad things I said about you.

    This morning.
  11. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    You like that, Zeke? ...

  12. Ashy Larry

    Ashy Larry Active Member

    I'm nominating Duncanville Texas for the next SportsJournalists.com get together....
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