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Ten Reasons Why I Would Never Coach Minor Hockey (add your own sport)

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by JR, Dec 26, 2013.

  1. JR

    JR Well-Known Member

    Hits every single note


    You can take the most generous, caring mother or father, who would give anyone the shirt off of their back, but once the puck drops in little Johnny’s game, that same parent can turn into the Tasmanian Devil on steroids.

    My good friend Huggy has read this and gives it a thumbs up
  2. doctorx

    doctorx Member

    Every baseball parent who ever lived knows more than every coach who ever lived.
  3. Huggy

    Huggy Well-Known Member

    I forwarded this to a friend who spent many years working for one of the youth hockey leagues in the Toronto area. He said every fucking word of it was true, and that house league parents were often worse than the rep-level parents. I saw loads of delusional parents in my junior hockey days but at least their kid had got to that level, most of your idiot parents never get close to that.
  4. LongTimeListener

    LongTimeListener Well-Known Member

    No. 4: I’ll do anything for my kid. (Wink, wink)

    Most parents will go above and beyond for their kid. For most, this means working an extra job to put a kid through hockey or working bingos, 50-50 draws or other fundraising events. Some parents, however, will go as far as to prostitute themselves. Ask any minor hockey parent if they have ever heard of a parent sleeping with the coach to get their kid more ice. It happens. Obviously not on every team, but it happens.

    Why in blazes would this be a reason NOT to coach a team? Discreet MILFs in their dirty 30s, who says no to that?
  5. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member

    Problem is, he hits the same notes over and over and over again.

    10, 7 and 6 are essentially the same thing.

    Ditto 9, 8 and 3. 5, 4 and 2 are extremely closely interrelated. 1 of course is a subtext to all the others.

    So really he's got three fundamental bitches:

    1) Parents with distorted assessments of their kids' level of play;

    2) Parents with distorted assesments of their own knowledge of the game; and

    3) Inappropriate emphasis on winning leading to distorted decision-making in every other area.

    But it's catchier to say '10 Reasons Why xxxxxxx Sucks' as opposed to 'Three Fundamental Reasons why xxxxxxx Sucks.'
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