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Telling friends they could lose a few pounds?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Pringle, Jul 4, 2011.

  1. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    I am obviously in the minority on this, but I would bring it up, if these people are so important to you, and if you have a true best-friends relationship in which there is little that is not on the table for discussion.

    There are few people in anyone's life who can talk to another about just about anything. If you don't, who will? Who will care enough? That said, you need to be caring enough to do it in a sensitive, empathetic manner.

    Even though you sound relatively healthy, do you have certain health/lifestyle concerns yourself? How's your cholesterol or blood pressure, or such? You work, I take it, so, do you struggle to get in exercise? If so, perhaps you could bring that up, and it might segue into something more. If not, perhaps you could talk about how you get in exercise, and where, and why and what you like about it, and how'd you like to join me/us sometime?

    There are ways to lead into things, usually, with people who are among those you'd share anything, and you can usually take things from there.

    Weight and weight loss is like a lot of important things/concepts. What you say/do might not have an immediate impact in the way you'd like. But, I've found that you never know, for sure, how much people might actually be listening, or what they might take in, or take away with them, or what they're going to remember or think about at some point.

    People do things when they're ready, sure, but usually, there's an accumulation of thoughts, words, events and reasons that it happens, and your actions may fit into the eventual scheme of things.

    If it is someone you care about, and that you take the time to care about, your friends will know and understand, and, hopefully, eventually, value what you have to say.

    That's what you want.
     
  2. Herbert Anchovy

    Herbert Anchovy Active Member

    If the weight is that out of control, someone (with less tact) has likely brought it up already.
     
  3. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    You should tell them. They might not know.
     
  4. TwoGloves

    TwoGloves Well-Known Member

    For Christmas, buy them one of those "fat" mirrors you see at the carnival and maybe they'll figure it out themselves.
     
  5. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Start using fat-related nicknames when speaking to them:

    How's it hanging, fatty?

    Hey, big-uns, pass me the salt.
     
  6. Tommy_Dreamer

    Tommy_Dreamer Well-Known Member

    This
     
  7. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    You mean we're not always going to look the way we did at 22? :D

    Yeah, don't say anything. I'm sure they're very aware of their weight gain.

    Most of us are very aware when we gain weight, when hair starts to fall out and when we can't do things that we could 15 years ago. The people who go out of their way to point these things out to us are douchebags.
     
  8. lisa_simpson

    lisa_simpson Active Member

    This is actually quite good advice, because this:
    just makes you sound rather judgmental and holier-than-thou, no matter how well-intentioned you may be.
     
  9. Pringle

    Pringle Active Member

    I really appreciate the thoughtful responses here on the topic. I'm glad that most people didn't think I was being a douche bag about it. The way I think about it, you'd be concerned about someone with a drinking problem or drug problem. Why is this so different? Though I understand that the appearance/cosmetic aspect of it makes it more sensitive.

    My wife told me today that at some point this weekend when she and the wife were hanging out together, the other woman did say, at some point, "Obviously, I need to lose some weight." So they are aware. I truly hope they make some lifestyle changes. I know we've all put on a few since we were in college. It's the extreme nature of this gain, by two people, that concerned me.
     
  10. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

    I actually did think you were being a giant douche. I just didn't say anything because I figured you'd realize it yourself.
     
  11. Pringle

    Pringle Active Member

    How so? Don't just leave it at that.

    Also, it was pretty obvious that you thought that with your clever earlier post on the thread. It probably should say something that no one acknowledged it.
     
  12. YGBFKM

    YGBFKM Guest

    My wife has gained like 20 pounds this year. But I haven't said anything about it.
     
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