Tell a story about being poor in college

Beer specials were awesome at my college bars.

One would sell bottles (good quality beer, too, not the cheap stuff) for 50 cents until 11 p.m., then a dollar until midnight before going to regular prices, only you could only buy one bottle at a time. That would prevent people from whipping out Abe Lincolns and getting 10 beers at once. Still, it was excellent. For myself, who is a slow drinker, I could get 8 bottles for 6 bucks in two hours.

Another bar had quarter-pitcher nights on Thursdays. The cover charge was more than usual (I think $5 instead of $3). And you had to buy the first pitcher at regular price (Maybe $2.50? Can't remember). After that, it was 25 cents per pitcher. So you could essentially drink three pitchers for $8.

 

Approves of your behavior.

 

This.

Yeah, I have a poor story or two, but never stole a thing.

Near the end of my junior year I was working for a paper about 15 miles from campus. Was out of money on Thursday, payday was Friday. You could actually pick up your check after 4:00 on Thursday. I drove the 15 miles and got my check. Got to the grocery store and since it was dated Friday they wouldn't (couldn't) cash it. Went home and had one last can of cream of mushroom soup, but no milk. Made it with water and survived till Friday, but never, ever felt so broke in my life.

This was spring of 1983, when a check for $100 was huge money to a college student.

 

I went on vacation in Northern Michigan during the summer before my senior year. I had about $45 in my pocket and also happened to be on probation for a minor in possession of alcohol offense. So I wake up this Saturday morning and call the probation line. They tell me I have to go take a breathlyzer. So I drive to the local Sheriff's office but get lost in the backwoods of Michigan. My gas light comes on so I eventually find a gas station. I tell the clerk that I want to put $35 in. I go back to my car and start filling up. The pump ends up being broken and just keeps on pulling in the gas. By the time I catch the mistake, I had already put in like $43.50 in gas. Shit. I now only have $1.50 left plus some change in my change cup and I needed $5 for my breathlyzer test.

So I stop the pump myself, and go in and give the clerk another $8.50. I ask the clerk if they have an ATM. Thankfully they do. I go to withdraw money and boom, nothing in the account. I was supposed to be paid on Friday, but the admissions office never set up my direct deposit. So the check was in the mail. I had no money in my account and had to go and try to find enough money to pay for the breathlyzer. Never found it. Ended up going back to the gas station and using my money to buy some string cheese and a pickle. Went back to my friend's cottage and called my probation officer who gave me a break and told me if it happens again I was going to jail.

My friends still make fun of me today about the day I didn't have enough money for a breathlyzer but had enough money for a pickle.

 

My friends used to drink a shitload of cheap booze. My personal favorite was Crystal Palace gin. I also drank Mickey's like it was going out of style for about a month. Then my bowels gave out.

 

$3 a sixer at the liquor store near campus. Drank it all the time in college, but I haven't had a sip of it since graduation.

 

I am only two years removed from college so my story isn't that old.

I worked at my local paper during college and made minimum wage. It barely paid for my apartment and utility bills so food was often a challenge. During basketball and baseball seasons I would take one the media credentials that was issued to the paper and go and eat a hotdog and free drink. I'm not proud of it, because I usually didn't stay for the game because I had to go back to the office, but I was hungry and poor.

For the record I did ask the beat writer to bring me some food back in the beginning, but her never did. Survival of the fittest.

 

I doubt this one is in the ball park with the others, but I was thinking about it recently because of a semi-related event.

A guy from high school was coming to campus for Saturday night and part of Sunday. That semester, I worked every Thursday and Friday night, so I basically went to class and then work for two days in a row. If I did anything that Friday night, someone else must have paid.

I slept in on Saturday and then watched some football. At halftime of the afternoon game, I decided to go across the street and buy some pop and chips. (The guy was a non-alcohol drinker.)

I get to the store and decide to check how much money I had. One dollar. Somehow I forgot to get any cash. I had no ATM card or debit card in those days. The banks were closed. That campus store wouldn't take a check, much less give change on one.

So we walked around campus, went to McDonald's, and then ate popcorn and watched the reruns of the games from earlier in the day. I apologized to the guy, but he didn't seem to mind.

The funny thing is he's a total prick about anything related to money now.

 

The string cheese/pickle payoff is priceless.

Oh, the Meister Brau and Mickey's references take me back to a poorer, but still rich, time. Housemate had a small cooler of Mickey's on ice right next to his bed the night before St. Paddy's Day so he could roll over, hit the alarm, and crack a Bigmouth while still in bed.

 

The only story I have about being really cheap was at a bar my junior year of college, and it was justified.

Me and two buddies went to the bar on a weeknight, got drunk, and wanted to get our tabs. Unfortunately, it took forever for the waitress to get them to us (bar started getting busier), and when she finally did, we waited a half hour and she never came for our money. So we just walked out on our bill.

The best part is we saw the same waitress at a different bar the very next night. She admitted that she was bad and forgot about us, but I still felt kind of bad.

 

Me and a buddy went to the army-navy surplus store and bought old trenchcoats with huge pockets. We filled them with Ziploc bags and hit shoney's all you can eat midnight breakfast bar.

We'd eat and make extra trips to stuff our pockets to store for the week ahead. the way we saw it, the sign didn't say all you can eat while you're here."

 

Indeed.

Being in college -- oh poor, disadvantaged, futureless soul! -- is not much of an excuse for breaking the law.