Talking on the phone is highly overrated

I like talking on the phone. No one ever calls me though :'(

 

Wayyyyy too much thought (or non-thought) has gone into some of this.

By "not answering" the phone, all I meant was not jumping off the toilet in mid-bowel movement, then stubbing your toe on the coffee table and then tripping over the dog in your mad rush to the bedroom to see who's calling.

Let 'em leave a message and check it in a minute or two. That's all. It's not a question of "being bugged by a ringing phone." Jeebus. It's just a question of whether you are a slave to the thing. And yes, too many people are. Witness the 72,000 cell phones that suddenly pop open when fans exit a football game. What a coincidence, 72,000 people all had a call that just had to be made at exactly the same time.

"Dear, I'm at the emergengy room at Memorial Hospital. Call me when you get this, and please come as soon as you can."

Yes, there is the slimmest of possibilities that could be the message. But unless the guy is expected to perform CPR when he gets there, his waiting a minute or two to listen to the message (and arriving at the hospital at 12:37 instead of 12:35) doesn't mean squat.

 

What if you get a message at the movie theater that your friend has been in an accident and before you rush to the hospital you stop to buy Jujyfruits?

 

They still have those?

 

Well, they did in the '90s when Elaine bought them on Seinfeld. (Sorry, forgot to put "/Seinfeld reference" at the end of that one. My bad.)

 

"Haven't I told you your whole god damn life? Don't talk on the fucking phone!"

 

Now you are what? Shrunk?