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Taking care of a terminally ill parent

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Smallpotatoes, Mar 19, 2019.

  1. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    She came back home last night and we had the person here watching her overnight.

    The problem was that she was awake all night and sleeps all day. Because she was away for a week and I only saw her three or four times in the nursing home, I really didn't know much about what had changed during the past week and couldn't help the person much. She slept for a half-hour at night and the person had to change her a few times.

    I met with the hospice nurse today and we decided to try a different anti-anxiety med. My cousin is visiting from Ohio this week and she's a social worker. She's been very helpful.

    Edited to fix typo.
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2019
  2. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    Mom died early this morning. The overnight home health aid woke me up, saying she appeared to be in pain. I gave her another dose of morphine.
    She was making loud, moaning noises, like a wounded goose (I know it seems inappropriate to make that observation, but it's the best way I could describe it). A few moments later, it was all over.

    I called my brothers and the hospice nurse, who made it official. We're waiting for the funeral home to pick up the body and meeting with them later to plan services and visiting hours.

    She's in a better place now, with my dad, her brother and my grandparents. She was an excellent mother. Her heart was always in the right place. I just wish I could have been a better son.
    maumann likes this.
  3. FileNotFound

    FileNotFound Well-Known Member

    Peace to you and yours.
    maumann, ChrisLong and Smallpotatoes like this.
  4. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry.

    You took care of her. You were a better son.
  5. swingline

    swingline Well-Known Member

    Damn. I’m sorry for your loss but glad your mom is at peace.
    maumann and Smallpotatoes like this.
  6. WriteThinking

    WriteThinking Well-Known Member

    It's a big loss for you, no doubt. From the sounds of it, though, things will be better now, for her, and for you and yours. May God's peace and blessings be with you.

    And, it seems like you're a fine son. Be gentler with yourself, especially now.
  7. ChrisLong

    ChrisLong Well-Known Member

    Condolences. Hopefully this will help ease your mind and let you move on with your life. RIP, ma'am.
    maumann and Smallpotatoes like this.
  8. micropolitan guy

    micropolitan guy Well-Known Member

    Condolences as well. We lost my father last November under similar circumstances (end of life hospice care). Even though he lived a great, long life (92), and was in no pain at all for the final 3-4 days, it's still incredibly hard, far, far tougher than I ever imagined. Glad you have family there for you to support, and to support you.
    maumann and Smallpotatoes like this.
  9. Dyno

    Dyno Well-Known Member

    So sorry. It might not feel like it, but you were a good son to her. My condolences to you and your family.
    maumann, wicked and Smallpotatoes like this.
  10. Matt1735

    Matt1735 Well-Known Member

    RIP to your Mother and condolences to you and your family. You took care of her. You did it right. Sounds like you were a great son.
    maumann and Smallpotatoes like this.
  11. expendable

    expendable Well-Known Member

    I’m sorry to hear this, and I pray for you and your family. May your mother RIP. Take comfort in that you did right by your mother. You’ve done a lot, and there is still a lot to do, but eventually you will need to take some time for yourself. Be sure to do it. Even if it’s a walk, a movie or a ballgame, be sure to take that time.
    maumann and Smallpotatoes like this.
  12. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    Sorry for your loss, smallpotatoes.
    maumann and Smallpotatoes like this.
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