Submit a question to ask at my 'State of the Paper' meeting tonight

They're full of shit, or so it would seem.

Your time would have been better spent getting your asshole wire-brushed.

 

So, if the customers want porn on the front page, your paper will give it to them?

 

What? You mean people will pay for things they want to see or use?
That's genius!
Makes you wonder what they've been using up to this point. Maybe reader logic. You know, the kind of logic readers use when they call up sports desks and ask why they don't get a certain channel or program on their TV. Always wanted to tell those people that if their paper doesn't show up on time, they should call the TV station.

 

Word is that some companies are cutting just because everyone else is. Yet your CEOs are putting out deceptive garbage like "don't believe the newspaper business is dying. Real investors know this."

 

"How do you load armor-piercing bullets into an automatic weapon?"

"Do you know what time the executive editor shows up to work and is he/she usually alone?"

 

"Does the publisher open his own mail?"

 

Mr. Editor, I have two questions:

1. How many companies do you know that have turned things around by cutting and slashing?

2. What the fuck makes you think ours will be any different?

 

"Does your wife always wear a white blouse when she wakes up in the morning at approximately 6:27 a.m.?"

 

Keep 'em coming, Mizzou! Funny stuff for the malevolent among us.

 

"Does the publisher have a food taster?"

 

"How much did you get for your soul?"

 

Was there any mention of "exceeding our customers' expectations"?