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Stupid Sayings on My Paper Towels

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by 21, Dec 8, 2009.

  1. expendable

    expendable Well-Known Member

    I usually buy what's on sale. Writing or no writing. Lady bugs or cockroaches. It doesn't matter as long as I can save a few pennies, or if I have a coupon.
     
  2. Sam Mills 51

    Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member

    "I am a paper towel. Please use me."
     
  3. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    The next message has been revealed (after a complicated coffee spill):

    'The flowers of all tomorrows are the seeds of today.'

    That does not sound right.
     
  4. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    They need copy editors.
     
  5. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    I got yelled at once because I bought paper towels that were trimmed in the wrong color.
    WTF?
    They were in front of the store, on sale. Buy one, get one free. A brand we like. So I bought two and got TWO free.

    Well, they didn't match the blue in our kitchen floor. Surely they had blue. I should have looked instead of just tossing four into the cart.
    Not sure if they had sayings on them. If they did, it would be: YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL DUMBASS.

    Now toilet paper with sayings would be a nice twist. Save me from hauling so many magazines in there. Or my BlackBerry, which is functional but I fear dropping it in there.
     
  6. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    I blame the ladybugs.

    Ladybugs are disgusting. If you've ever had ladybugs, you know what I mean.
     
  7. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    See, I always thought ladybugs were kind of cute with the little polka dots and all. I even nicknamed my daughter "ladybug" weeks after she was born. Of course, she looks at me with daggers when I call her that in public these days but what 16-year-old wouldn't?
     
  8. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    Do you not read Eric Carle?? Ladybugs are miserable vermin. Some of them are not even ladies! They get up in your light fixtures and fly out at all sort of inopportune moments, scaring the dog and your potential motherinlaw. Trust me on this, you have done your daughter a terrible disservice.
     
  9. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    Don't get me started. He's the Selena Roberts of children's books. Sure, "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?" was OK. As was "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and "The Very Busy Spider." But "The Grouchy Ladybug" was a hack job from the get-go, full of salacious gossip and innuendo.
     
  10. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Where can I get pepperoni paper towels?
     
  11. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    On sale, cheapest paper towels available, regardless of color, pattern, design, etc.
    I've never seen any with sayings on them.
    Are they sayings or proverbs?
    Maybe they're epigrams or bon mots?
    Perhaps they are slogans, or even mottoes?
     
  12. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Guiltowels!

    "That Kool-Aid you just blithely soaked me up with could have kept 10 children in the Central African Republic alive for just one more day. Instead, it sits in your immaculate, by their standards, trash can. Oh, just so you know, they all died painfully. Way to go, kitchen Gandhi!"

    "Today, I clean up your tomato juice. Tomorrow, the tree I could have been will not be there to provide your grand-children with precious air you take for granted, that they struggle to breathe every day of their miserable lives."

    "So, you bought me, huh? You are a zombified, consumerist piece of shit who is worse than the dog sick you are cleaning up with me. Why not use a rag, mother fucker? Are you that addicted to going to Wal-Mart? Can you not resist the temptation to spend time and money with sub-moronic assholes just like you who cream their pants at the site of $1.99 paper towel sales? Go fuck yourself."
     
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