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Stupid question, but ... Why such hatred for Toby Keith?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by RedSmithClone, Oct 30, 2006.

  1. murphyc

    murphyc Well-Known Member

    So this thread has been dug up from the grave twice?
    Seems to me there are some similarities between the hatred towards Toby and McDonald's: both are highly successful with a simple formula and plenty of empty calories. If you can enjoy them for they are and not think too deeply about them, they're fine. I have enjoyed various songs by Toby over the years as entertaining videos to go with humorous songs. How Do You Like Me Now, Little Too Late, etc. Not the deepest songs by any mean or the most filling, but adequate if you take them for what they are.
     
  2. murphyc

    murphyc Well-Known Member

    Years ago, I came up with a short track racing version of Toby's "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This." It's been a while, but I think these are the lyrics I came up with:

    I got a funny feeling
    The moment your bumper touched mine
    Something shot right through me
    My heart skipped a beat in time
    There's a different feel about the contact tonight
    It's got me thinking a lot of crazy things
    Think I even saw a flash of light
    Felt like a spark of electricity

    You shouldn't hit me like this
    Unless you want me to hit you like that
    'Cause I'll just close my eyes
    And you won't know where you're at
    We'll get lost on this race track
    Spinning around
    And around and around and around
    They're all watching us now
    They see us going around
    They'd never believe we are "friends"
    When you hit me like this
    I think you want me to hit you like that
    If you do, buddy, hit me again

    You make me want to swear
    And grab you by the hair
    But this bump is as far as it goes
    Jerk, you never moved me
    Quite the way you moved me tonight
    I just wanted you to know
    I just wanted you to know

    You shouldn't hit me like this
    Unless you want me to hit you like that
    'Cause I'll just close my eyes
    And you won't know where you're at
    We'll get lost on this race track
    Spinning around
    And around and around and around
    They're all watching us now
    They see us going around
    They'd never believe we are "friends"
    When you hit me like this
    I think you want me to hit you like that
    If you do, buddy, hit me again
    Hit me again
     
  3. OscarMadison

    OscarMadison Well-Known Member

    Why I am not a fan of Toby Keith
    (Now with too much copy, excessive personal disclosure, and some pontificatin'!)​

    At best, some of his early songs qualified as loud, stupid fun. I'm not a fan of corporate country, a fact that landed me my college job at the Grand Ole Opry. I'll second and third his mediocre skills and the war profiteering suckage.

    The Opry job and a few years with a boyfriend who was working on his career in standup comedy gave me my first good look at the people who will boff a person just because they're famous/have a thirty-minute special on Comedy Central/once stood behind Garth Brooks at Wild Oats/etc. Here's the thing: I think it's gross. However, the women (and some men) who will do that are still children of the universe and deserving of compassion, or something.

    When I was out with my then-boyfriend at his work, I noted that some of the more infamous assholes were often the gentlest when turning away would-be groupies. I also saw some behaviour that made me swear I would never support a few of the guys. Some of them were just rude to their road girlfriends. One comedian had a one-night stand with someone in Memphis, invited her to his show the next night, and built his entire set around the previous night. She withstood the ridicule and slapped him outside of the club after the show.

    Still with me? Gosh, you're patient.

    So years later, I'm listening to a local radio station and they're interviewing Toby Keith. Someone asked him about "How Do You Like Me Now?" and he dodged and wove around the subject. Then they asked him if he ever wrote any other revenge songs. He proceeded to sing a song about a fan who followed him to his bus and offered herself for some fun. His response was something to the effect that he was insulted she would think he'd want to be with her because he was Toby Keith and he could get much prettier girls with a snap of his fingers. It might have been a work of fiction, but the detail and the cruelty that he thought was so screamingly funny made me think of those girls who used to try to get with comedians, singers, and later on, Titans and Predators.

    My ex heard Keith sing a similar, if not the same song during another interview. Ex was sharing a ride to catch a flight with another comedian. The other guy was pretty notorious for his bad attitude towards women. Comedians are pretty unshockable. They're the G. G. Allins of the storytelling phylum. According to Ex, both of them were appalled.

    Bottom line: Not that I'd want to be a candidate, but I wouldn't fuck Toby Keith with Sid Crosby's vagina.
     
  4. swingline

    swingline Well-Known Member

    A GG Allin reference!

    I will now try to light my audience on fire.
     
    OscarMadison likes this.
  5. dixiehack

    dixiehack Well-Known Member

    Never thought I'd live to see the day when working at the Opry was a rebellion against "corporate country" but now that I ponder it there's a certain rough logic to it.
     
    OscarMadison likes this.
  6. OscarMadison

    OscarMadison Well-Known Member

    My boss didn't want a fangirl in that position. Part of my job was answering after hours media and fan inquiries. I was always professional with the media and nice fans.

    My version of the idiot on the phone was either the crazy fan who wanted to know how Tangelo Futzmer was on The Nashville Network if she was supposed to be dead or the caller who wanted a trivia question answered so they could win whatever a radio station happened to be giving away. My answer to every trivia question was "Paul McCartney" unless the answer was "Paul McCartney" and then it was "Grace Jones."

    Bonus points if they called me foul names while I was "looking up the answer." That was when butter wouldn't melt in my mouth as I told them I forgot to hit the hold button and here was their answer, straight from my boss, (insert name of random Tennessee Walking Horse I saw on security detail that evening.)
     
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