Study: More 18- to 34-year-olds live with parents than anywhere else

Oh hell, I failed a bunch of 'em (as an undergrad). I failed reportedly hard ones (e.g., intro chemistry) and other not-so-hard ones (e.g., intro psychology). I even managed to fail one because I quit going after the first week and forgot to drop it before the deadline. I was committed to diversity in my fuck-ups.

That latter one has an ironic twist to it. I tried to beg and plead my way out of it, but the assistant provost for undergrads would have none of it. So I took my F and went on. Years later, when I was a lecturer there, I had a scholarship football player who quit coming very early on in the semester. Sure enough, long after the drop date, here comes the email from the assistant provost for undergrads ... the same fucking guy ... wanting me to sign off on a retroactive withdrawal. Sure, says I, and by the way ... wow, I sure wish you would have been as accommodating of me back in the day. Have you changed your views on these administrative peccadilloes, or is there something different about this case?

He never responded.

 

For years, I had a recurring nightmare that in my smoke-and-booze haze l'd forgotten to drop a class that I'd stopped attending. Dropping classes was, in fact, the reason I needed to take 18 credits my final semester in an attempt to graduate with the rest of my class.

 

You missed your calling. You would have made a fine Gannett executive.