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Stuck inside of a Springhill Suites with the Peoria blues again ...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Bubbler, May 11, 2007.

  1. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Things I learned today ...

    -- Make sure your house has a chimney cap. I won't go into details, but lets just say the animal kingdom tried to go all Santa Claus on my family last night. I battled what was likely a raccoon for several hours until I literally smoked whatever it was out. Then I heard a big thud coming from my furnace shaft. I went into my basement and saw the iron access door was open. The animal didn't get out, but it might be deader than dead in a bricked-in place that is utterly inaccessible to clear out. Can't wait to smell that.

    This morning, I climbed up on my roof to "cap" the chimney. With a steep roof pitch, fear of heights, morning dew on the shingles and a cut up tomato cage as the ultimate stop-gap measure until I can return from a work roadie to do it properly, I was a Darwin Award waiting to happen.

    Of course the piece I cut out of the tomato cage wasn't nearly big enough to cover the hole, so I took some loose mortar and jury-rigged it on top of the chimney opening. The raccoons and squirrels of my neighborhood no doubt had a great laugh watching my dumb ass.

    -- Those who continue to disparage soccer for its alleged dullness have clearly not watched competitive softball.
    Christ. When an 8-hit game is considered a slugfest, your sport has problems. Inning after inning of unmitigated 2-3s, P6s, 3Us, and of course, K's out the ying-yang. It seems ridiculous to label a softball game a pitcher's duel, they ALL freaking are.
    Softball gives the lie to the notion that a 1-0 game can be exciting. It can be in baseball, but I'd rather have my life depend on staying awake after dousing myself with industrial strengh Nyquil while watching a double feature of Gladiator and The Thin Red Line.
    The fix? Easy. Just do one of two things. Move the mound back about, oh, 15 yards. Or use softball-sized golf balls.

    -- The Marriott VIP card rocks ... when the Marriott hotels honor it. It took me four tries to find a Marriott family hotel that gave me the VIP discount.

    I had to wait until today for my hotel reservation because I could have ended up in two different cities depending on the results of what I covered Thursday.

    The first Marriott I went to didn't honor it because they were franchised out and weren't obligated to honor it. The second didn't recognize the card at all, initially threw back in my face, and when I persisted that it was legit, the chicken-shit clerk said she couldn't give me the discounted rate until the manager approved it in the morning (bait meet switch ...). The third flat out refused the rate. Finally my fourth and final attempt came through, but not without bewilderment by the desk staff as to this mysterious card.

    -- Casey Kasem spouting Rap Lingo Update '88 during an AT40 on XM deserves its own thread. It will only say that I can now die knowing I heard Kasem define the following terms on air: hype, dope, lampin' (the preferred term for hanging out), chillin' (the passe term for hanging out), bumps, in effect (said very slow and very white, as if Casey was teaching a class of rap lingo to immigrants just off the boat a la Stripes), and some term that referred to what we now know as a fade haircut I don't remember because I was laughing so hard.

    Sadly, Kasem never got around to skeezer, bizzo or bozak. Nor did he give anyone the gas face. I suppose that was in Rap Lingo Update '90.
  2. John

    John Well-Known Member

    The only good thing about those 1-0 softball games is that they're over in about an hour.

    Tomorrow I get to cover a state semifinal soccer game and then haul ass to cover a pair of semifinal baseball games 30 minutes away.
  3. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Were you caught without a ticket, and underneath a truck?
  4. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    It's days like those that make me glad I've become a desker.
  5. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    No. But someone smoked my eyelids and punched my cigarette.
  6. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Apparently, your debutante knows what you need.
  7. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Uhh, uhh, uhh ... knock, knock, knockin' on heavens do-o-war ... hay, hay ... hay, hay, yeah!

    Free Izzy.
  8. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Hey, don't follow leaders, and watch your parking meters.
  9. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member

    As the father of a pitcher I must take offen...

    Nah, you're right...boring, boring, boring :)

    And those otel discount cards never seem to work. The people at the desk never seem to have any idea what they are...or how to deal with them.
  10. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    --I look forward to the Bubbler Meets The Stone Mason and Daddy, Why Are We Moving Just Because the House Smells Like Grandma? thread-sequels to your raccoon problem.
    --And remember, competitive softball can be an oxymaroon once there is a baserunner....
    --Oh, and congrats on being up for that award thingy. I'm sure Darwin and whatever paper he wrote for would be reeeel proud of you.
  11. trifectarich

    trifectarich Well-Known Member

    How do you book the VIP rate on the Web site? I didn't know you could do this and, if you can, this would be a godsend.
  12. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    Stories like that make me glad I'm a desker. Also makes me glad that at the paper I work at they only expect you to cover one game in a day (unless its two games at the same site) on a weekday, no more than 2 on a weekend.
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