Stuck at DFW

The 9 a.m. shuttle to the airport was full, so I took the 6:10, meaning I got here at 9:30 for a 2 p.m. flight to Tampa for the Poytner summit. Guy closest to me just got through shouting into his phone, and now it's pretty quiet. And American's fleet of MD-80s is up and running, so I got that going for me.

 

That really sucks; I'm not griping about my four or five hours.

I got a Facebook message from a friend last night that she was stuck in Mexico for 13 days while American worked out its issues. She's a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, for what that's worth.

 

Hop on the monorail and head over to Terminal D. Lot of good restaurant and shopping options over there.

Oh, and post some pictures of your friend.

 

Better than LaGuardia -- I was stuck there for 15 hours. Asked if there were any nearby hotels and was told it wasn't a good idea to step outside at that time of night.

 

Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail!
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
Patty+Selma: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!
[crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]
Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...
Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs.
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
[big finish]
Monorail!
Homer: Mono... D'oh!

 

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EAT THE PRE-PACKAGED CHICKEN CAESAR WRAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't stress that enough.

My ex-girlfriend's flight to DFW got delayed so I got stuck waiting and had to eat. I ate one of those. Long story short, I spent the entire weekend on the toilet while nearly shitting myself every five minutes for FOUR MOTHER FUCKING DAYS.

Seriously, I nearly shit my pants and bed at least 35 times. I had to stay awake and ready to run the entire time...it wasn't pleasant.






And, by nearly, I mean a little came out each time.

 

Go ahead and eat the rare pork wraps, though. They're fantastic.

 

Sucks when you shart, doesn't it...

 

No eating airport food for me. In my carry-on, I have granola bars and some other goodies. I also have lots of reading material and a couple of movies to play on the laptop. I'm a nervous flyer; the more I can do to keep my mind off the flight, the more better I do.

 

Finch from American Pie just got mad, and doesn't know why.