Sting Rays 2, Humans 0

I'd like to think I have the inside track.

 

God help us if there's a third sting ray death.

The it becomes a Trend Story and makes the cover of Time and/or Newsweek.

Or worse yet, a special report on CNN.

 

I'm more afraid of riptides than sting rays.

You are irretrievably fucked if caught in a rip, lucky if you have a proper funeral.

 

It's obvious that the Sting Ray youth have been corrupted by violent video games.

 

Might even cause the Rays to change their name again because even rays are "too scary."

Which got me to thinking, which pro team name would you most and leak like to go into a dark alley with? Do the Orioles have the wimpiest nickname? Grizzlies the fiercest?

 

I blame rap music for the decay, personally.

 

dumbass

 

We have a winner

 

In this case, it's like Mississippi Valley playing UCLA....sorry

 

Swim parallel to the beach (to the side of the pulling current)

 

There was a vaguely legitimate article in Esquire a couple months back suggesting that animal attacks on humans was on the rise ... and that it's no accident. It cited Irwin and the fact that everyone said it was a totally unprecedented incident, the first known case of stingray-on-human violence in history, and then it happens a couple weeks later.

 

I like that phrase. "Vaguely legitimate."