Steven Segal: Lawman

Interesting, but long story about Seagal (that's the correct spelling) and his adventures with the mafia.

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/criminal_mind/scams/steven_seagal/2a.html

It also gets into some of Seagal's casting couch maneuvers while in Hollywood. This is my favorite passage:

Throughout the nineties, Seagal was accused of sexual harassment by employees and prospective actresses. Ned Zeman in Vanity Fair quotes an actress who described Seagal's new spin on the casting-couch lure. According to the woman, Seagal had asked her to take off her top and groped her breasts in order to show her where her spiritual "meridian points" were located.

 

That's hysterical.

And very clever.

 

He fucked over Kelly LeBrock. I hope those boys in JP kick his ass. It's been a long time coming for that fucker.

 

Poor Kelly LeBrock. Not Seagal's fault he doesn't like candle wax on the nipples.

 

This series should actually be titled Steven Seagal: Fatass Lawman. Seriously, this should remind all us guys to hit the gym, jog, bicycle, tricycle, Big WheelTM or whatever we have to do in order to not look like that. Every Krispy Kreme shop in N'awlins should be worried about being raided:



At this point, he's most noteworthy for his middle-aged resemblance to Jim Belushi.

 

Let's hope Gene LeBell doesn't go on a crime spree in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana.

 

I was thinking more along the lines of Elvis Presley, circa 1977.

 

I like the option of going for a Big WheelTM ride.

Damn, I loved riding that when I was a kid.

 

I'm putting out a $5 bounty for the first guy who kicks his ass in JP. I'm good for it.

 

You can't put a bounty on a man's head!!!

 

I just did.

 

"This gentleman is not a very good zen practitioner."