Steamed hams!

You don't know who you're fucking with, here, Mikey.

All: Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Karl: Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Lenny: Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
Alien: We do! We do!
All: Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Skinner: Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Homer: Who rigs every Oscar night?
All: We do! We do!

 

"Don't cry for me, because I'm already gone."

 

Barney's movie had soul, but football in the groin had a football in the groin.

I'll never drink again.
Beer here!
I'll take 12.

 

Another brilliant piece ...

[Jerry, Marla, George, and Stacy meet]
Marla Penny: Jerry.
Jerry: George, Marla.
George Costanza: Marla.
Marla Penny: George. Jerry, Stacy.
Jerry: Stacey.
Stacy: Jerry.
Jerry: George, Stacy.
George Costanza: Stacy.
Stacy: George.
Jerry: George.
George Costanza: Jerry... Marla... Stacy!

 

My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone-dry. Everything's coming up Milhouse!

 

Homer : Who can take your trash out?
Stomp it down for you?
Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy-doo?
The Garbage Man!

Trash Men : Yes the Garbage Man Can!

Homer + Trash Men : The Garbage Man can
And he does it with a smile
And never judges you.

Marge : Who can take this diaper?

Trash Man : I don't mind at all!

Chief Wiggum : Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball?
The Garbage Maaaaan!

Trash Men : Yes the Garbage Man can.

U2 : The sanitation folks
Are jolly friendly blokes.
Courteous and easy-going

The Edge : They'll mop up when you're oh-

U2 and Trash Men : -ver flowin'!

Bono : And tell you when your arse is showing'!

Apu : Who can?
Sideshow Mel : Who can?
Ned Flanders : Who can?
Oscar : Who can?

All : The Garbage Man can!

Bart and Lisa : Coz he's Homer Simpson, man!

All : He cleans the world....for....you!

 

Airing right now in my neck of the woods: Homer's Phobia.

"They're embarrasing me. They're embarrassing America. They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined all our best names like Bruce, and Lance, and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had!"

I'd bet you $100 Yawn thinks he's dead-on.

 

We work hard. We play hard.

 

Homer after John says Jackie O thought Mindy was married to Mark: "Give her a break! Her husband was killed!"

 

It's camp! The tragically ludricrious! The ludricriously tragic!

 

My fav. part is when Smithers runs into John with the Simpsons

Smithers: John? So this is your sick mother.
John: Waylan, I want you to meet the Simpsons.
Smithers: I know the Simpsons!

 

He prefers the company of men!
Who doesn't?