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Steamed hams!

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by BYH, Dec 6, 2007.

  1. expendable

    expendable Well-Known Member

    Not my favorite episode, but it's from my favorite season.
     
  2. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    Stampy is my favorite episode.
     
  3. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    It took me about 15 seconds of deep thought to remember who or what Stampy was. All I could hear was Bart saying, "I love you, Stampy."

    I need to watch more Simpsons episodes.
     
  4. RedCanuck

    RedCanuck Active Member

    Where's MY elephant?
     
  5. deskslave

    deskslave Active Member

    Aww, they're playing the elephant song. I love that.
     
  6. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    The funniest thing about Stampy occurs a few years later at Apu's wedding, when Apu rides in on an elephant.

    Bart: "I wish I had an elephant."
    Lisa: "You did. His name was Stampy. You loved him very much."
    Bart: "Oh yeah."
     
  7. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    [Old Homestead Steak House]

    HOLLY: I can't believe you've never taken anybody here before.

    JERRY: Well, I'm not really that much of a meat eater.

    HOLLY: . . . You don't eat meat? Are you one of those. . .

    JERRY: Well, no, I'm not one of those.

    HOLLY: When we were little girls Grandma Memma would take us to a matinee and then dinner here.

    JERRY: Grandma Memma?

    HOLLY: Elaine must have mentioned Grandma Memma.

    JERRY: No, I think I would have remembered Memma.

    HOLLY: Oh well, that's typical. Elaine never liked Grandma Memma.

    WAITER: Ready?

    HOLLY: I'll have the porterhouse medium rare, baked potato with sour cream,

    JERRY: What do you recommend besides the steak?

    WAITER: The lamb chops are good.

    JERRY: Anything lighter? How do you prepare the chicken?

    WAITER: It's a full bird. Stuffed with ham, topped with gorganzola.

    JERRY: You know what? I think I'll just have the salad.

    WAITER: . . . Thank you.

    JERRY: (mind's voice) Just a salad? Just a salad? Just a salad?
     
  8. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    I had pony!
     
  9. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    This is war.
     
  10. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony. Who figures an immigrant's gonna have a pony?
     
  11. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    One of my favorite riffs of all time, after Manya leaves the table pissed off about the pony remark:

    JERRY: I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?


    Now ... what about steamed HANUKAH hams?!

    NEW YORK (AP) -- This was REALLY not kosher.
    A grocery store in Manhattan made a food faux pas, advertising hams as "Delicious for Chanukah."
    Chanukah — an alternate spelling for Hanukkah — is the eight-day Jewish holiday that began Tuesday evening, and hams — as well as pork and other products from pigs — can't be eaten under Jewish dietary laws.
    A woman who saw the mistake over the weekend at the Balducci's store on 14th Street took pictures of the signs and posted them on her blog.
    Jennifer Barton, director of marketing, told The Associated Press on Thursday that the signs were changed as soon as the error was noted.
    She issued an apology on the company Web site, saying the company would be reviewing its employee training.
     
  12. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail!
    What'd I say?

    Ned Flanders: Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

    Patty+Selma: Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!

    [crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]

    Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...

    Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

    Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

    Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

    Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?

    Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs.

    Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?

    Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

    Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.

    Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
    I swear it's Springfield's only choice...throw up your hands and raise your voice!

    All: [singing] Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

    All: Monorail!

    Lyle Lanley: Once again...

    All: Monorail!

    Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

    Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

    All: [singing] Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! [big finish] Monorail!

    Homer: Mono... D'oh!
     
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