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Starting Over ...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Lieslntx, Sep 25, 2008.

  1. Lieslntx

    Lieslntx Active Member

    Things are really complicated for us and not quite as clear cut as normal. First, the property property was willed to me which makes it an exception to the 50/50 laws in the state of Texas. However, since so many improvements have been done to the property by my husband, he is actually entitled to half. However, the value of the property pales in comparison to the value of the business. And yes, I am entitled to half of it.

    We have a lot of financial things that need to be worked out over the next fews months before we can begin the transition of phasing out the work I currently do for the business. Currently, yes, I will be completely supported by him and he is not at all bulking that. Or continuing to support my daughter and keep her in school. The long term plan is for me to receive a monthly income from him over a period of probably three or four years. I have asked for that to cover me while I go back to school and for a time to help me get on my feet financially. So basically, he will be buying my half of things over that course of time.

    As for the property and why I'm leaving it and not him. It's my choice, really. We have 6 acres that now have three houses plus the warehouse that houses both our businesses. The houses are occupied by his family and it's really just not a place I will feel comfortable staying. Also, I really have no desire at all to own or live on that much land. I'm perfectly fine leaving and getting my own place. Besides, it is in my best interest for his business to keep running very smoothly and continue to make money.

    So, no, we do not yet have attorneys. We will eventually. I realize that anything could happen but I will still be involved in the running of the business for a time and have no doubts about being able to look out for myself.

    On the personal side of things, I must admit that our marriage has not been that great or strong for quite a few years. As painful and difficult as this is going to be for both of us, it is the best thing. We are both going to come out of this, eventually, as happier people. Ever since the decision was made, we have been getting along great in the office. Kind of like normal people again.
     
  2. Dirk Legume

    Dirk Legume Active Member

    You are waaaay stronger, then I think I would be in the same situation.

    Amazing. You are amazing.
     
  3. OTD

    OTD Well-Known Member

    Liesl (or is it Lies . . . I'm not sure):

    I'm so sorry to hear about this. You do have friends here, so vent whenever you feel like it. Also, keep in mind that this might not be as big a shock to your daughter as you think . . . kids often sense what's going on pretty early.

    I would urge you (as others have) to get a lawyer ASAP. I realize that you're getting along all right now, but the time could come when you're not. Also, you mentioned there are other members of his family right there. If one of them puts a bug in Hubby's ear, he might start playing around with business assets. Please make sure you're covered.

    Good luck to you.
     
  4. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    I can not reiterate this point enough.

    My ex-wife played nice for awhile, but then her family (who never really liked me, by the way I hope they burn in hell. wait, what?) started saying I was trying to screw her over. So, her and her lawyer went after me.

    The only thing that helped - since I couldn't afford a lawyer - was my reading comprehension skills and my refusal to sign the first draft of papers. I faxed copies of the paper to multiple of my family members to have them looked over by many different eyes.

    And I still got screwed.

    Anyway, listen to OTD. Get a lawyer. By getting one, you are not necessarily going into attack mode or ratcheting the pressure, but you are just making sure everything is on the up and up for YOU. You are the most important thing in a divorce -- obviously, your daughter is as well, but you know what I am saying.

    I just wouldn't count on your soon-to-be ex-husband being as trustworthy as he is right now. Right now, everyone is relieved. The elephant in the corner has been addressed, so it is easy to get along right now. That could all change real quick the next time you guys have a disagreement at work.

    Anywhoo, I'm not trying to be mean, I just believe in good preparation after what I went through.

    I hope you have a good weekend. Go Razorbacks! :)
     
  5. All the advice on here has been dead on. Even though things are going well now, there may be that one disagreement that puts a complete spin on the situation. Get a lawyer and protect yourself and your interests. It's better to be completely prepared than to have something come back to haunt you.
     
  6. hockeybeat

    hockeybeat Guest

    Best of luck, Liesl. I will keep you in my thoughts.
     
  7. Rosie

    Rosie Active Member

    Allow me to echo Lugnut's advice (because she gave it the same punch I was feeling reading this thread.)

    Get a lawyer NOW. Do not pass go, do not hesitate, do not trust your soon-to-be-ex will be benevolent. Cover your butt. You must protect yourself.

    I wish you the best as you go through this. My PM is always open if you need a shoulder.
     
  8. Lieslntx

    Lieslntx Active Member

    I have duly noted all the lawyer advice and have filed it away in my brain for use later. Yes, I'm being a stubborn bitch. I'm quite good at being one of those. If you don't believe me, just ask the soon-to-be ex! (I really have received leads on lawyers via PM, so I am listening to the advice :).)

    Meantime, on happy topics, I have found a house to rent that I really, really like. I have filled out an application. The problem is, I'm not the only applicant on the table. So put your good thoughts together, dear SJ Nation, and hope that somehow I look better on paper than whoever else is trying to get my pretty little house.
     
  9. Lugnuts

    Lugnuts Well-Known Member

    Well it seems like you have it under control. In fairness to my 'tough love' posts, you hardly seem like someone with no skills.

    I send you ((( hugs ))) and good wishes.
     
  10. Lieslntx

    Lieslntx Active Member

    I interviewed for a part-time job today that will pay me just barely over minimum wage. In an effort to supplement whatever I might end up getting from the Ex. And in order to have health insurance. It's a job that is flexible enough that I will be able to go back to school in January.

    I go to visit a lawyer in the morning.

    I have reached a point where I doubt if I will ever again be able to trust a person that is not related to me by blood.
     
  11. BigSleeper

    BigSleeper Active Member

    Stay strong, L.
     
  12. i echo sleeper, and remember, we all are here for you.
     
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