Starting Over ...

When my mother and father separated, it was she who moved out of the apartment first. My father moved a few months later if I remember correctly.

They had joint custody of me from when I was about 13 until just after I turned 16 and my mother moved out of state.

 

Another thing to think about as far as living situations go: In Texas, everything is owned jointly. So, unless you signed a prenup, which I'm guessing you didn't considering how long you've been married, then he has to buy out your half of the house if he is going to keep it. So, find out how much the property is worth and he owes you half of the worth or has to sell the house and give you half of the money, that's what me and my ex-wife did.

Also, everything, cars included are half yours.

Getting a lawyer is the best advice. I didn't do that and I came out of my divorce with some credit card debt and no money and few possessions. She had a lawyer and I thought she'd be nice. In hindsight, that was dumb, because she got everything of value and I was left with a 1995 Chevy Lumina and the credit card debt.

 

I was wondering about that as well. More accurately, I wondering if there is some legal division of assets and possibly alimony at this point. There should be. If she was only working on their business together and now he has cut her off, there should be some legal remedy.

I know it is distasteful and probably very painful, but Liesl I do hope you are fighting for your part of what you and your ex built together. He has no right, morally or in the law, to just cut you off.

Edit: Listen to Angola. On this topic, he knows what he's talking about.

(Sorry to hear how yours went, Angola. That sucks)

 

When I went through it, I found that visualization helps.

Visualize yourself in a better place two weeks from now, a month from now, even six months from now and keep walking with your feet in that direction. Time creates space from heartbreak.

 

Best of luck Liesl. Just take everything one day at a time.

 

Liesl, as a product of a split home myself, don't worry -- your daughter, niece and nephew will realize your love for them has not changed a bit.

Best of luck...

 

A friend in Texas is going through a divorce.

Her slimy husband immediately signed over the kids, but then started taking things piecemeal he knew were hers from her family or something that had been given to the kids just to piss in the punch.

Sorry to hear about this, Liesl. Best of luck and God bless.

 

Liesl, I'm about to get really mean with you.

Why are YOU moving out?

You are talking about rents and real estate agents when you should be talking to a lawyer.

If you supported your husband's business, you are entitled to have your husband pay your rent as well as spousal support BEFORE the divorce is final.

Now put that one foot in front of the other and walk to the phone.

Call the state bar association. Tell the person you need a recommendation for a divorce lawyer in your area. Make an appointment with that person.

You think you're in hell now?

You don't know the meaning of SCREWED if you don't get legal representation NOW.

DO IT.

 

Whoa. I'm not gettin' in Lugs way.

 

I got the impression there was excessive damage to Liesl's property during Ike, which may have something to do with the moving. Still, if there's insurance, that should help to relocate.

We probably don't have enough details to see the whole picture here.

 

Agreed, which is why I have toned down my comments/questions regarding legal representation and the division of marital assets.

But I think quite a few of us are concerned that she is doing everything she can to protect her own interests, which isn't always easy to do in such a difficult situation.

 

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but this stuff makes me crazy. I come from a family of lawyers, and one does divorce. She has represented A LOT of women who put everything into their families and have "no marketable skills." So many of these women somehow think that they have to "start over with nothing" when actually, it is the breadwinner's legal responsibility to pay spousal support. These women often end up making bad decisions without legal counsel-- decisions that become very hard to undo. One of those decisions can in some cases be -- being the one to move out. You know the old "possession is nine tenths" deal? It's actually true.

Women tend to be very hard on themselves and carry a lot of guilt. But liesel has RIGHTS. So does the daughter.

I'm just trying to play bad cop to y'all's good cop and give her a bit of a kick in the pants.

What if the husband freezes the credit cards and the bank accounts and leaves her without any cash?

She'd be so much better off with a lawyer in her corner right now.