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Someone write this for me...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by slappy4428, Oct 8, 2007.

  1. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    I have a short feature to do that I just can't get into... I have a player of the week story to do and the poll to assemble... and a buncha other stuff to do...

    So help me out, would ya?
     
  2. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    Joe Blow never thought it would happen to him.
    He was standing in line at the ice cream shop when the soft-serve machine malfunctioned, spraying melted ice cream all over the nubile 18-year-old behind the counter. Dripping wet, sticky and shivering, she looked up at Joe for help.
    And help he did.
    Also looking to Joe for help? His teammates at Buttfuck Academy, where he is the starting linebacker and leading tackler.





    There. Your lede is written. Thank me later.
     
  3. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Boy, is this cross country girl going to be confused...
     
  4. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    OK, then sub out for a boy behind the counter, her teammates on the Buttfuck Academy cross-country team and how she's the top runner and set a PR last month.

    Done.
     
  5. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Make sure you call her a harrier, both in the story and the headline.
     
  6. Flash

    Flash Guest

    Anna Runningstar was feeling lonely.
    She couldn't find anyone who shared her passion for the trails -- the mud flying as she pounded down the hill in the pouring rain, the searing pain her thighs at the end of a race, the breathless thrill of crossing the finish line.
    So, she placed an ad on craigslist.
     
  7. Like Forrest Gump, she ran. Day and night, she ran. Rain, snow and sleet couldn't quell her desire to run. And run fast. Faster than anyone else. She ran fast to win. She liked to win. She won a lot. It made her feel good. Winning and running made her feel good.

    "It felt good. Like sex," she said.

    Really, like sex?

    "Like really, really good sex," she confirmed. "Winning and running is like sex."



    try that.
     
  8. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    I laughed out loud at that....
     
  9. Wendy Metatarsal wept.
     
  10. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    if she does go to buttfuck academy, i'm thinkin' of a whole new lede.
     
  11. Flash

    Flash Guest


    Oh ... good. :D
     
  12. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty Guest

    searing pain, where?
     
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