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Some humor in the court

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by EStreetJoe, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,and you manipulate
    people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and Asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention that he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."
  2. Killick

    Killick Well-Known Member

    Humor out of the courtroom:
    Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding their horses out west. All of the sudden Tonto jumps off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Kimosabe...buffalo come!"
    The lone ranger replies "How do you know, Tonto?"
    Tonto gets us, wipes his face and says "Ear sticky."
  3. Mayfly

    Mayfly Active Member

    Speaking of the Lone Ranger...

  4. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    That's pretty good, Joe.
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