Some good news for Michigan

It was named Eastern Michigan men's basketball coach, but got suspended for hitting students.

 

They put it in the UP, but Wisconsin tried to claim it

 

It'll line up at wide receiver for Sparty, then after exhausting its eligibilty (not graduating, of course, don't be silly) it'll shoot itself in the leg in a strip club, be arrested for drugs and domestic violence, and then skip bail on its appointed day to turn itself in to jail.

 

Uh, uh, uh ... (searching for Michigan reference that hasn't been beaten to death) ... Lake Superior State.

Yeah. They wanted to use it for a real live Fox TV-style glow puck, but instead, they had to use it to clear out, er, snow. You know, because it snows a lot up there. Because it's way up north ... in Sault Ste. Marie.

Dammit. I suck at this.

 

D.T.M.

 

Gannet wants it, will keep it in Michigan, but it will only available on the internet in PDF form.

 

Wayne State University in Detroit inquired about its availability until it found out the beams could not be used to flip over cars...

 

Ford bought it, renamed it the Excursion Deluxe, and now nobody will buy it.

 

The Big Three wanted it to build cars, but the UAW said it didn't have enough seniority and had to be laid off...

 

The Dwarf wrote about it wearing green and white, but it failed to show for the interview.

 

It got traded to the Nuggets, then came back a month later.

 

The UAW got hold of it and paid it to not work.