So what can I do in Cincinnati?

Hoffbrahaus = tourist trap. Hell, people who live in Germany avoid it like the plague. That brewery on Fountain Square is Rock Bottom, which is in a lot of places around the country. There used to be a local brew pub (well a couple of them, but most folded - see that race riot post). One which might still be around is Teller's in the Hyde Park area. Not a chain.

 

Grater's has a store in Fountain Square...good, good, ice cream.
Don't go at lunch time, though. You'll stand in a long line.

 

Skyline is franchised across parts of the Midwest.

Camp Washington Chili is the best ... it's not too far from the old Crosley Field site (which you won't see) and pretty close to I-75 headed into town. I'm partial to Gold Star as No. 2, but I get to eat Skyline a lot when in Indy ... and buy it in the can and make it at home. CWC is pretty spicy, Gold Star has a lot of flavor (the meat's a bit more chunky), Skyline is a bit more pasty.

If you're a history buff, the William Howard Taft home is northeast of downtown.

Not too many bad seats at GABP, but try to avoid the 500 level down the left-field line. They're *really* high. The rightfield line, not as bad (left -- from home to CF -- is designed to look like a retro park; right -- from home to the corner -- appears to be inspired by Riverfront Stadium's seating bowl).

 

Teach Adam Dunn how to catch a fly ball.

 

Graeter's raspberry chip is its best, IMHO.

And you can always drive by Peter Frampton's house.

 

He's not God.

 

I don't care if it's a tourist place. I'm not German, and when I visit Cincy, I'm a tourist and I like the food!
Same goes for the one in Vegas.
;D

 

Can't speak for the one in Newport, but the Hofbrauhaus in Vegas has very good food.

 

What I'm trying to say is when in Rome .... (i.e. do something native to Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky).

 

Cincy/NKY does have a big German-American population.

 

Wonderful. Then find a local German establishment instead of some piece of shit chain.

 

Or maybe you could name a place or two that fits your criteria?