So, I lied today ...

Normally, I never lie. You might think that's a lie, but I assure you that it's not. It hurts me to lie, makes me feel dirty and rotten. Sometimes even when I know it would be prudent I can't do it. It's one of the reasons why people think I'm an asshole. I'm not afraid to say what I think needs to be said. If a girlfriend asked me if I liked her hair and I didn't, I'd say so. It's just part of who I am.

But today, well, today was different. It wasn't a huge lie or one that altered the course of anything. I didn't do it to save myself from a situation or better my position. I just did it. And it felt fucking amazing. When this person asked the question -- the question wasn't even important, just a simple get-to-know question about what I do for a living -- it was like they were handing me the power to dictate to them whatever I wanted. Whatever I said would be taken and believed as the truth and the reply could have been anything. I embraced that power.

So I wanted to know, is this normal? Is this how it feels to lie and lie well? I don't condone lying, still feel it's just morally wrong, but fuck, what an amazing feeling.

 

Lying = sex, money, promotions, etc.

 

It's an interesting feeling. Then again, can you really trust me to be telling the truth on that?

 

You know what? That's my fault. I did not anticipate that, and I should have. I'm never starting a thread again.

 

Now I'm not sure if your toilet was ever really clogged.

 

Apparently it wasn't. It was the line somewhere.

 

I believe it was clogged. Whether it remained clogged for so long is my question.

And I can count on one hand the number of times I lie in a year. Most of the time I fess up. I hate the guilt.

 

I think it depends on what you're lying about.

If you're bullshiting with a co-worker about your college years ... fine.

If you're not telling the truth about past relationships, money, etc. with your significant other ... yeah, that's a problem.

 

For fuck's sake! Now we have threads about lying! You're all a bunch of moronic children! [spnited/]

 

If you never lie, you've obviously never been asked the single worst question in the history of civilization: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

 

One of the many benefits of dating slim, athletic women. I did tell a girlfriend that a dress she tried on made her look like she was piece of plywood with appendages. This thing dropped straight down from the shoulders. She had lovely hips, but there was no way you would have ever known it from that garbage bag.

 

Woman: So, Clever, what do you do?
Clever: Funny you would ask. I'm actually a world-saving, billionaire philanthropist who specializes in giving the homeless homes and starving children food.
Woman: Oh wow.
Clever: So, what do you do?
Woman: I'm a journalist.